Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Random Update 10/17

Since I'll be gone this weekend and the work phone service is on the fritz I will update a little ahead of time.
Drum roll please! D1's tooth "fell down" this morning. This is a great relief to us all since he was never going to let it be pulled, or his "blood would come out". E. was obsessed with getting it out since it was hanging by a thread. OCD, all the way. Maybe now she will be able to remember her homework. She actually got a thread tied around it one day but he wouldn't let her or anyone else touch it. I thought, great, a kid with a thread hanging out of his mouth for the next few days. He already strings his action figures together with MY dental floss and they go dangling after him, now we will add a string coming out of his mouth. On the upside, maybe he will hang an action figure on it, and the weight will pull the tooth. But he got it off all by himself 5 minutes later. E. was beside herself. So now he's finally got a hole and he didn't bleed. It already has a tooth growing behind it. Since this happened during rush hour, you will probably all have to wait till next week to see the traditional hole in the mouth shot. That's o.k. because delayed gratification is good for us. That's why the tooth fairy usually takes a week to remember to swap the tooth out for money. At least that's my fancy excuse.
A little P.S. on the last update, about the floor video. The rest of the day was a fantastic one for the floor, bags worth of spaghetti sprung up out of nowhere, and on and on all day. Unfortunately, I was too busy cleaning it up to get the camera back out. I learned something important though. If you want a few quiet hours, just turn on the video recorder. The whole week I could have kept the cameras rolling too. I came home from picking up the boys to find that a cupboard above the counter top holding the washed dishes was dripping sticky ooze. Luckily a lot of it fell into an upturned bowl. Unluckily a lot more didn't. I opened the cupboard to find a broken bottle of papaya syrup. Maybe it was supposed to be refrigerated? Can't figure out how else it exploded unless "The man came in here and broke it and ran away".
Remember Bill Cosby's routine, To Russell My Brother Whom I Slept With? We had it on an old LP and all my siblings pretty much know it by heart. When the boys spit water on the bed and break it they blame it on a man who came in the window and did it and jumped back out laughing. Dad gives them the hellfire for lying lecture and says. Do you want to be burning? Bill- No Dad, no , I don't want to be burning! Dad- Then TELL THE TRUTH Bill- The man came in here, Dad! They were scared to death their dad would get the belt. The belt they had never seen with hooks on it to rip the meat off your skin. That was another generation. This generation is too sophisticated for that. I tried it on D2: Me- If you don't stop that Papi will have to spank you with a belt. D2- (Doesn't even look up) Yeah, right! (Sarcastic tone.) Sigh.
Back to our story... what was it? oh the messes. So yesterday the big boys were playing with the kids on the corner and the little boys were playing in the yard. I was playing, Oh Where Are My Winter Clothes in the shed. I did find more kid clothes. I was trying to finish up when the little boys headed inside. Then I start hearing sirens and they get closer and closer and several fire trucks end up just one block south of us. I check to make sure my boys are in the neighbors and not somehow summoning the trucks. D2 sticks his head out the front door. I ask him if D1 is inside with him. Yes, he assures me and then says something about me being a monster and that he wasn't going to let me eat them, and runs back in laughing. So I go finish throwing the last items into my sack and head into the house, where I find this:
There was a musical backdrop to this from the player songs on our piano, going full blast. (It's widget is spastic, so it's Beethoven's Piano Sonata 14 if it's still not working.) At the end of this chocolate syrup trail I find the boys hiding under their covers. According to them, they are hiding from the monster (me) and I am not supposed to eat them because I am going to be busy licking up the chocolate off the floor. Actually I didn't eat them because I was too busy getting them to mop up the trail which, even though I would do a lot of things for chocolate, I was not willing to lick off my floor because I've seen what's been on that floor. I was reasonably clean, what I call "Clean Dirt" which means the dirt is less than 24 hours old. Before cleaning up the mess, I took pictures and taped it, but I'm such an idiot, I was holding the camera sideways and I don't know how to flip a video. So this time when I get to the end, I find D1 who starts telling me about the "slug" who was stuck and shows me the drain to the sink. I must explain that I already met the "slugs" in the garden and they were actually snails. Don't know what's up with that, because they used to call them "smells". I'm starting to go into plumber mode now though and ask if he's really stuck in there, and D1 says, "No, he climb out." Whew!
"SO where is he?"
"In my bed."
"Oh, thank goodness,"
then my brain kicks in...what am I saying? I escorted the snails outside, but later I found that there were some more, and they got smashed on the bathroom floor which I noticed when they crunched under my feet. See what I mean about licking things off the floor? Never a good idea. Gotta head to bed!
Oh, I guess I should mention first that the fire trucks were there to check out a gas leak.


Rebecca Talley said...

Love your blog. It's always very, very entertaining.

Swishy said...

Oh, I remember the trauma of strings tied around loose teeth! :)

Karen said...

My daughter actually lost her front teeth by hitting her knees on her mouth coming down a slide. It was a blessing all around because they would never have come out otherwise.

Cecily R said...

Oh my gosh! I love the chocolate syrup story (the rest is great too)! I'm so glad you took a picture because that is the stuff that usually comes out of Judy Blume, Super Fudge type books (am I a total spaz or do you get that reference?)!

Cecily R said...

Okay, since I don't know your husband, I can only imagine mine in a donosaur hoodie towel. It's an image that is now burned into my brain. When I need a good laugh I will refer to that image. My 6'2" 300 pound husband in a dinosaur hoodie towel...priceless. Thanks for the great laugh!

Shellie said...

Yes, G. has been reading those books for school. Too fun.

carrie & troy keiser said...

Oh what a day! thanks for the laugh! :D