This is one of those posts you've all been waiting for, because I promised. (Right!) But I bet you thought I couldn't deliver on this one. (See the end of this post). I'm not really crazy. I've been pretending all along. Here's the clinical proof. When we were adopting, the social worker who did our home study was also a worker for DCFS. So she sent me get my psychological evaluation with the psychologist who does parental fitness evaluations for her DCFS clients.
This psychologist had an office built into one side of his home. So I went and parked on the street by the home and went in for my evaluation. After a little small talk, I had to answer 101 questions on a survey or two. I remember there was a part that you would mark whether or not statements were true or not. There were statements like, "People are out to get me." -Not! So, after wading through several tests and things I was free to go and I was supposed to come back for a second appointment to be interviewed.
When I went out to the car, there were some neighbors outside, and they weren't exactly friendly. They looked at me in the weirdest way, as if I were distasteful. I was wondering if I had a booger hanging somewhere or if I'd sprouted horns or what. "That was weird," I thought, and went on my way.
A few weeks later, I returned for my results. First, the psychologist asked me why the worker had sent me to him. I explained that it was for an adoption home study. Oh, well, that explained it all. He couldn't figure out why I was so normal. He said he had never tested anyone with such normal scores. There was nothing wrong with me. This had really bothered him. I guess he doesn't like people to be normal. In any case, the fact that I was supposed to be normal made it all OK. He was excited to note in the interview that I did have some symptoms of ADD. I guess that made not too normal, and the report on me as a prospective adoptive parent was most favorable.
I was left with many an unanswered question about the good doctor though. What in the heck was he telling his neighbors about his patients? What would he score on his own tests? The world will never know. For all those who know me well, I bet you never thought you'd hear that I was accused of being the most normal person that someone ever met. In any case, I'm clinically normal. At least I was 9 years ago! Hee hee, ha ha!
P.S. My next post will not start I'm...
P.P.S. So I better just mention now that I'm as sick as a dog. I swear I got a flu shot! What's up with that?