Friday, February 8, 2008

Random Update-¡febrero por fin!

It's a good thing it's February because it seems that I'm allergic to January. As soon as it rolled around, I got sick and stayed sick so long, I was starting to wonder if I had the plague, or mono, or a brain tumor, or Rocky Mountain fever, or Utahitis, or who knows what. After finally getting meds my sinuses cleared, but every afternoon I started getting feverish and achy till by night I couldn't stand it. Then I got a rash. Then January left, and it's all gone. See, I'm allergic to January.

I really would like to make it out to see my parents and my sister someday. They only live about 18 miles away. The colds and the cold weather and insane life are keeping me away. I have a new client keeping me busy, and I'm increasing work with one of my old clients and still trying to at least retain another a little for when or if the new client's work dies down. Bottom line, I'm working more than I like to for now. My oldest is having to play chauffeur and babysitter, but since she owes me for a ticket, her gas and her cell phone, it's just as well. Hopefully the dust will settle a little in March.

Now that I can do something, I have to retrain the monkeys around here who went wild while I was too sick to wield any kind of influence on them. They have rebelled against all the foundations of routines and "order" (I'm honest, I use the term loosely) previously established over years' time. Just one month of semi slacking the vigilance on my part undid years. (sob!)

I don't understand a lot of things about life, I must confess. So I have become a domestic scientist of sorts. I'm currently conducting a study to determine why it is that children leave approximately 67% of their refuse in a little circle about 2 feet AROUND the garbage cans. Are they allergic to garbage cans? Are they afraid they will overflow? Or belch whatever they toss in right back out into their faces? Are they hoping that if there's nothing in them, they will not have to take out the garbage? Has someone threatened them with certain death or worse, no candy ever if they put stuff in the trash? So I took a survey. The answers ranged from blank stares to shrugged shoulders to "I didn't do it" to "uh, bbbb uh I uh, huhmmm." Test results: FOR NO REASON! Got that? As in "Mommee! The kids won't put the garbage in the trash for me FOR NO REASON. They just threw it on the floor FOR NO REASON!" How many of you are perturbed to death by that refrain? He hit me for no reason! He took my bike for no reason! It drives some people I know crazy. Should we take a poll? Be that as it may, there are a lot of things that happen for no reason around here. My explanation is poltergeist. That's German for offspring of mine. One thing I can't explain any other way is why the whole house looks like someone just filmed the exorcist in it within an hour after the kids get home from school. Like, the furniture isn't even ever in the same place I left it in. It's truly disconcerting. I think more than one babysitter has been scared off by this phenomenon.

On to other exciting happenings, I became a mom again. A foster mom, that is, for 5 days till she could go to her new home. It was fun. She roomed with Enigma and we enjoyed her a lot. Especially since it's not too hard to have a peaceful coexistence for 5 days. It kinda made me wish we could have adopted Enigma a sister near her age. Kinda. That's all.

This next section should really have a title: DON'T Give Your Scouts a Pocket Knife.
My scout aged boys were going to learn pocket knife safety and how to whittle at scouts
a few weeks ago. They were so excited. They needed a knife. So Papi got them each one. We handed them over 5 minutes before the meeting started. They went and "learned how to hold the knife and how not to cut yourself or others etc, etc. Then they whittled away the very edges of a wood block. They haven't whittled any more. The wood blocks are still just wood blocks, lying around annoying me. That doesn't mean they haven't used the knives, however. Oh, no! I've got the sheets to prove it.
So, last night while doing my survey I discover that even though I have confiscated the knives, they have not stayed confiscated, and some people think they are good for peeling apples, but some people don't pay enough attention to what they are doing or to the safety instructions or both. Then after they all but cut their fingers off they go hide. Thank goodness for super glue and butterfly bandages. I've got the knives again. Oh, and they've multiplied since now that they passed that off, they got a knife at pack meeting for passing off that skill. Hooray!

The Things are talking so much better lately and working on their letters. They are so cute! I'll tell one about Thing 2. We were sitting in church after President Hinckley died so people were sharing thoughts about him and every time another person spoke, Thing 2 would say, "He knows Hinckey too?" By the end of the meeting he said, "EVERYBODY know Hinckey!" Thing 1 just keeps asking me things like, "What's wrong with you head, Mom?"

Now I've got a houseful of kids, one sick and spreading germs everywhere so I'm going to
go hold down the fort. Sayonara!


Pam said...

I love Random! Sorry you were sick for so long, but glad it is better. I have had some students with the fever, cold, etc and then a rash. The rash seemed to be the end of it -so hopefully you are done with it and all better.

I imagine you have your work cut out for you getting the house back on track. Good luck with that!

Carrie and Troy Keiser said...

I love to come here and LAUGH! I just cracked up over your opening paragraph! Tears were streaming and people were looking at me funny! :D
And I've given you an award... come get it!

Burgh Baby said...

Holy heck do you crack me up. I think my husband also suffers from the inability to actually place trash in the can. I can get the Toddler to throw things away, but not him. What is that?

I think it was Utahitis. That makes sense.

Glad you're better (finally)!

caramama said...

I can't imagine being sick for so long with all those kids running around! It's amazing the house is still standing!

I'm glad you are feeling better. And I hope you are able to keep the knives away from the boys! I love that the point was to teach them knife safety, but it sounds like it just got them interested in playing around with them!