Saturday, March 8, 2008

The Next Random Update

We are still alive. The kids are still up to all kinds of nonsense. I still can't get the paper in my life under control. Taxes time is coming and I can't get ready. I realized I have started about 15 books that I haven't finished this year. The house keeps exploding, furniture keeps moving. Children keep popping out of their beds and into mine.
People are spontaneously barfing here and there, leaving fun presents to clean up. Thing 1 spewed all over his church class, our hall and the car right as we pulled up to school. He thought his heart was exploding and shooting out of his mouth. Because he has his heart and his stomach all mixed up. We'll have to show him some illustrations again. He didn't want to drink any "coca loca" to help settle his stomach though. He just wanted to watch Mr. Cella (you know, the girl with the dirty dress then a lady makes it a beautiful dress!) Thing 2 barfed all over the kitchen and then proceeded to sneak food for the next 12 hours. Didn't barf any of that back up though.
Everyone seems to have had to do book reports, so I had to make sure they got their books read and then did their projects. So glad we are over that hump. Every day after school, coats, papers, pencils, mittens, socks, shoes, lunch remains, snacks and assorted toys suddenly rain down upon my living room floor. I'm not sure why. Apparently, telling everyone where everything goes and making them put it there everyday is no incentive to start putting it there in the first place. Maybe I'll check out that stun gun site again....
My most recently acquired client doesn't seem to be a paying client, so I now have a great tax write off for next year if I'm still squeezing them by 2009.
Whenever the weather thaws a bit I kick the kids out into the yard, and they immediately try to offset all the latest precipitation by draining our city's water reserves into the sand box. The things have decided to get social and tag along with big brothers to a friend's house. Only problem with this is come spring they are going to be all over the neighborhood and they don't get the street crossing rules yet. I also shudder to think of what the neighbors are going to want to do to me if my 4 boys all show up at their house on a regular basis. No one is going to like us by fall. That's why I rarely get sitters other than for the Things till school gets out while I'm working. People are nice when I need them, but they don't act like they want them to come over and visit every day either. They don't volunteer for time with the boys. They like them and all, but I know, because I live with them that they are hard work. Adding them to whatever kids they already have is wild. The other way around isn't so bad. Once you're living in bedlam, you hardly notice a little more noise.
So, one of our old sitters got married last week. She asked Gigio and Carino to man the guest book and present taking. After sneaking away from their post every 3 minutes to attack the food bar, I finally got the Things settled enough to twist the big boys' arms and get them to do their jobs. So the last 5 people who came were greeted by a one eared boy with chocolate all over his back and a boy with a red dot on his forehead with strawberries all over the front of his white shirt. These were the new dress shirts they were wearing for the first time. Papi was helping out with all the food so he wasn't much help. Enigma left early to help make a ton of pasta for another friend's brother's wedding the next day.
Now I guess I better explain why Gigio had become a Hindu. According to him, the red dot just appeared while he slept one night. Sorta like how Enigma got a black eye from sleeping one night too. This excuse is just not working for me. After several days and many a scientific explanation of why this just couldn't be so, I finally got the truth out of him. He put his forehead on the eraser while sharpening a pencil with an electric pencil sharpener. Eraser burn. I thought it was an eraser. I'm getting clairvoyant. Omniscient even. Next, Thing 1 shows up with a scratch under his eye. I ask what happened and he says "I was sleeping." Right... Remind me to have a Home Evening on making up better excuses.
Papi is having more knee problems again and dizziness too. :( I try to pamper the guy but I always get lost on the way to whatever it is I'm going to get him. Sigh. Hope he doesn't die waiting for me someday.
Enigma dyed her hair black if I didn't mention that last time. She just broke up with potential boy but they're still together all the time. It was just too hard to be exclusive and plus, they were getting too attached and it freaked them out. Apparently they are both happy with this new arrangement, (at least till someone starts going with someone else) and if that isn't using common sense and foresight and all, well, I just don't know. Not many kids have the sense to take it easy and take it slow. So now anyhow, she is free to let her eyes wander and they do.
Carino is having issues with the Japanese torture called the therabite. I don't know if he just too big a cheat or if there is a real problem with his mouth. It is shrinking. I'm dreading finding out what's going on. We're trying one last ditch effort to see if we can turn this thing around.
The black holes are eating up shoes and backpacks and spitting them out occasionally. There's always something missing every day. So- I really have to attack the paper situation and get my taxes done. Wish me luck.

12 comments:

Pam said...

I'm tired just reading all that. You need a nap, a spa, and a good cup of tea- hope things settle down soon!

Anonymous said...

Oh, thanks for the good belly-chuckles! I have 5 boys and 2 girls, so can relate with the craziness. But I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world! (My kids would probably trade me sometimes, tho' - when I'm really tired, I'm more easily pushed over the edge!)

Here's an idea for you - not my idea, but one I heard from another mom of a big family. Their rule is that if anyone finds someone else's backpack that has been left on the floor when they come home from school (same with jacket, boots, etc, if I remember right) - someone else can take it and fling it outside. And some of them take advantage of that from time to time, and it may be in the middle of the yard in a rainstorm. Sounds cruel - but guaranteed that child will not leave their backpack laying around for a while! I'm not sure if we'll implement this when our kids are bigger, but I'll probably at least entertain the thought!

I think I'm hooked on your blog!

Maria said...

Wow, what a busy house! Try to enjoy it before they'e all grown and gone! BTW, that site didn't work for me. It took me to the site, but it said the page wasn't available. Did I do something wrong? Thanks for the tag! I'll do it soon.

Jeri said...

I just get a kick out of hearing about the adventures in your life. They are SO familiar to me... especially hearing about things 1 and 2; They sound so much like my son Aaron - times 2. I think I would shoot myself!

Good luck with taxes!

Shellie said...

Thanks, anonymous! Welcome back anytime. That suggestion is fun, except I'm a little afraid it will blow up in my face when they use it as an excuse to throw everything out the door. At least my living room would be cleaner. Hmmm Maybe we'll try it. Maria, I left a message on your blog, but if you see this first, the article is from NPR's Morning Edition February 21, 2008, titled Old fashioned Play Builds Serious Skills. Pam, I think you're right. And Jeri be glad there's just one Aaron. :)

Maria said...

Shellie, thanks for the article. It worked this time and I just showed it to my husband. It was great! It just proved my thoughts about how kids did better back then. I always try to bring as much of that as I can into my life. Does that make sense? I'm going to save this article!

Burgh Baby's Mom said...

Eraser burn? Seriously? Thank goodness for blogging and the ability to remember these things years from now. Eraser burn. That's a new one.

Karen said...

Your kids have a thing for "I was just sleeping" don't they? If ONLY they slept that much you'd get a break every now and then.

Darla said...

This sounds so familiar. Especially the paper war and then the living room (and entry...and the whole house) filling up moments after the school kids enter the house after school. Sometimes I wonder why I even bother cleaning during the day. Other times I use it to justify exactly why I didn't bother that day! :)

mommeeof9 said...

Little boys are a whole different animal. My 5 give me gray hair on a daily basis. My 4 girls are usually more cautious and think about what could happen before they leap. The boys leap first, then discover the consequences...

Anonymous said...

Where are you? I'm just waiting daily for your next humorous blog! You just seem to hit it right on the head, how life is with a bunch of kids!

Shellie said...

Hey, Darla's sister! Gotta lotta stuff up now for when you're feeding the baby.