Wednesday, April 30, 2008

The Demise...

I'm like seriously overdue for a post and even more overdue for a random list of updates on our home, but THIS is the big story. I'm so sad...I'm not sure I can live without this little friend of mine...today we "buried" the trampoline. (OK, buried in a garbage.) Technically, it's skeleton is still on exhibit in the back yard, too.
First, I took down the totally useless netting that was hanging all over the trampoline itself, waiting to catch someone and propel them off the thing. Next, I removed the shreds of the outer lining of the padding that used to encompass the ring of springs, but was dismantled by little engineers or doctors in training who have to see the guts of everything. What I didn't do was remove the foam that goes on all the enclosure poles since they were removed and shredded into monkey tails oh so many moons ago. Then I watched kids start to swing around the now exposed poles and even bend one out of shape. I forbid them to do it, so they only do it every time my back is turned. So, then I spent too much time on the internet searching for the correct replacement parts at an affordable price. Finally, after much deliberation and consultation, I placed an order late Friday afternoon. I cringed but I did it because, A) I got a tax refund and B) I want everyone to be safe. I knew most of this stuff needed to be replaced a long time ago, but what was the point if they were just going to shred it and use it for mulch? Now that everyone at least speaks and understands, I figured I could threaten them with their lives if they damaged anything. Most likely they would ignore me, but after popping off a few of them, I mean, giving them consequences, I figured they'd behave.
Fast forward to Sunday afternoon, when I go out to see the boys on the tramp and discover that the mat is full of holes. Twenty-six holes to be precise. A few of these holes are big enough to get a big toe stuck in. Arg! I had a heart attack and died. They just threw me in the trash with the mat. (Just kidding) I started into CSI mode. It didn't take long though, because there was an informant present who was ready to squeal on his mates. "The Things burned it with the magnifying glasses from the bug catching kits. Great! They just lost their 2 favorite things; the tramp and the bug catchers.
I don't know how I missed the signs that this was coming. Gotta stop being so easily distracted. First of all, red flag #1: I spent money replacing all the tramp accessories. You know that's dangerous. Second, a few weeks ago we had a Sunday School lesson, and don't ask me how this fit into the scripture we were studying, but the teacher mentioned something about a big huge magnifying glass at the Smithsonian that if you take it outside and the sun hits it, whatever it magnifies gets melted. Seriously, everything known to man, nothing is safe! And I remember thinking that you could probably destroy the world with that, and good thing my kids didn't have access to it and all. Did the little alarms go off when the Things got the bug kits? Oh, no! I'm too dense for that!
When oh when will I be able to listen to that still, small voice, guys?
So, very quickly, so quickly, I didn't even write another classic letter, I sent an email message to the tramp company that I needed to cancel my order because I no longer had anything to enclose: the tramp went up in smoke. I could have spent another $100 replacing the mat, but then once I added it all up, I could probably get a new tramp and enclosure for not much more. Papi adamantly insisted that their trampoline days are over since they respect nothing. I really can't bring myself to waste the extra money or reward their deed with a new tramp, so... we are trampless. I'm not sure how we will survive. I thought of sending them to any and all neighbors with tramps to play, but seriously who will let them in their yard when they hear how our tramp died?
I finally contacted the tramp people again on Monday to make sure they got my message and of course they hadn't but they think maybe they got the message to the truck that had just gone out with half of the order to not send my stuff any further. What are the odds that I won't get a big package soon? I'm so bummed for me and my kids. The first thing Enigma said was, "Now what do I do with them when I have to babysit?" Is this how God feels when He can't give us what we need and want because He just can't, as much as He'd like to? If only we were more responsible with what He gives us.
SO, hopefully we all learned something from this. The boys all got a big lecture about every angle of this thing, so they don't do anything like it again, while I had to keep pulling a very impish Thing 2 off the tramp to try to impress upon him the seriousness of the situation.
I learned things could have been worse: Thing 1 told me Thing 2 was also chasing him and trying to burn his hair. Maybe that explains why he has a hair horn on one side a lot lately?
There it is, the whole scoop. Sniff!

11 comments:

Karen said...

They burned it with the magnifying glass?! Your family...

Burgh Baby's Mom said...

That poor, poor trampoline never saw it coming. I feel so bad for it for having been used and abused like that.

You have some destucto kids!

caramama said...

That's soooo sad! I'm so sorry for you and your trampoline!

Anonymous said...

With seven active children, believe me I can relate!! I just love your writings!

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

Don't let them have those magnifying glasses back! My friend's sons burned her house down with one - no joke. The oldest was showing the younger ones how you could set a pile of leaves on fire using the sun's rays (his mother knew about it, it was a science experiment); but the pile of leaves was just a bit too close to the corner of the house...unbelievable, but true.

La folle maman said...

Wow. Okay, note to self... no magnifying glasses for my son. House fires definitely scare me.

Sorry to hear about the trampoline. I'm sure a good substitute will surface soon.

Elizabeth said...

My three year old LOVES magnifying glasses...he calls them "AH HA's".
I'll have to make sure they don't take any outside. Oh, Boy.
Poor Tramp...

Joanna said...

I'm not sure who I feel sorry for - you or the trampoline. So what is up with Thing2 trying to burn Thing1's hair??

Shellie said...

Joanna, my only explanation is that Thing 2 is the spawn of Satan. :) He's truly not malevolent, just impy. I think he just wanted to see if it would burn too.

mommeeof9 said...

It's a boy thing- the little scientists have to find out what will happen if I____ fill in the blank. Should they live to their 14th birthday, they do become humans.

carrie & troy keiser said...

What a bummer!
Holy cow those two are dangerous! I'm not letting my kids read this post lest they get any ideas! :P