I think I can just make another excuse list. Then you will know the continuing saga of our lives. Sort of. Reader's digest version:
No grip on time yet. None.
Still afraid of early onset Alzheimers.
I cannot keep up with Enigma. Her life plans change on average every 6 days or so. Still working on getting a Nevada license. Meanwhile, she must wait for next hiring event in June. Meanwhile, she finds out about an esthetics school that just opened a new campus near us. We check it out, we get great pedicures. She decides to sign up if things don't pan out in June. Life is set. Except she has no money. Except she owes money. Except every plan costs money. I spend too much time and energy trying to convince her she needs to really amp up the job searches and make as much as she can before May. I annoy her to death.
So, she goes to a job interview in a sketchy place and doesn't come back for hours while her mom imagines all her police shows are coming to life. Then she shows up all thrilled that she has a job. Oh yes, she is going to sell security systems in Alaska for 5 months. Mom didn't jump up and down for joy. Mom remained calm. Mom simply started to ask her a few questions about possible concerns and what about the hiring event/school in June? BUT, WHO CARES if you can pay off your loans in 5 months??(of misery)(possibly, if you sell anything)(that was the mom editing in case you didn't notice) What on earth is wrong with this insane mother who isn't thrilled that her daughter finally did what she had been nagging her to do.? GET A JOB!! Moms are just never happy. Moms are impossible. (I have been too impossible to write. Awesome excuse, right?) NO, so off the wonderful misunderstood sales person stomped in a huff.
So I'm looking on the bright side. She'll get lots of sunshine and exercise. It's probable that the friend who helped her get this job and is going with her has matured a lot since she rolled a car on the highway on the way to Las Vegas years ago...Before she got her license-In order to save her boyfriend who didn't know how to drive from killing himself while trying to drive anyways because he was determined to run away to visit his dad. That's where I had last seen her, when I drove my not yet licensed daughter up to the hospital to visit her. She was hospitalized a long time. Apparently in the meantime, she has dumped the boyfriend (good) Graduated (good) worked selling security systems (at least it's working for her...Maybe they will do ok?) has given her mom a new car, paid a ton of medical bills (they have no insurance) and is saving up for her remaining reconstructive surgeries. Sounds decidedly more mature. We'll see how it goes for Enigma.
So they got to practice in Idaho first. I got a lot of calls. Idaho sucks. She survived. Meanwhile, the job location got changed from Alaska to Austin. Big change. Enigma doesn't do heat. (????That's all her mother does.) She is freaking out about the heat. Oh, but since she is leaving home she had to waste some more loan money on a computer. And she had to get a new phone for her job too. Then Papi's phone disappeared. He finally gave up and went to get a replacement, a "simple regular phone" He comes back with a touch screen thingamaIdon'trememberthenamedon'thatemeTmobile, which means our phone bill isn't getting any lower. Too bad he doesn't live in Austin where Enigma could bushwhack him into getting a security system. Not that there is anything wrong with security systems, it's just he's a pushover.
SO, Enigma is now in Austin. (There are no mountains. There are whole aisles of just wine at the Walmart! It is 90 degrees F. The ward at church has like 30 members! Yes, Toto, we're not in Utah anymore.) Wow.
Cool thing, her uncle lives 8 miles away from her. Pretty sweet, huh? I'm so glad. Especially since the first thing she did was get sick. And she needed a ride to the Dr. because of course no doctors at the complex across the street could see her. The apartments are nice, (that doesn't keep bugs out of your sink) She already found her bank and lives within walking distance of the ER. Sweet. She has ALMOST sold a system every day. Hope today is her lucky day.
The irony of all this is she comes from a long line of people who simply are not sales people at all. I have said it before and I'll say it again, I couldn't sell Salvation itself in a #10 can for half off to my own mother. Not only are we not sales people, we have a reputation for being a door to door salesman's nightmare. When we get together my uncles tell stories about the mean things they do to sales people. I watched myself once as my aunt egged on a vacuum sales man that she bet his machine couldn't clean one thing or another until he had the whole house clean and then told him she didn't need it. I have been less than charming myself to sales people. I just don't like to make split second decisions about things so I make it a policy never to buy anything on the phone or at the front door. But since I think it would so suck to have their job I try to do it kindly but quickly so they can move on their way, especially since the day a travelling door to door saleslady helped me remove a pair of boy's underwear off my ceiling fan.
So, sending a child off into the big bad world they are so unprepared for is hard. Really hard. So hard, I felt like apologizing to my mom for making her let go of me so I could go join all the other missionaries who had said goodbye to their moms before and moved on to enter the Training Center a good five minutes before me and she was still hugging me. I felt like apologizing for ever leaving home. But that seems a bit silly 27 years later. I don't think she wants me to come back home now... Maybe I'll stop making fun of her and telling that story though. Definitely.
To be continued....