Common Sense (Well, at least it made sense at midnight)

As Thomas Paine said, "Society in every state is a blessing, but Government, even in its best state, is but a necessary evil; in its worst state an intolerable one: for when we suffer, or are exposed to the same miseries BY A GOVERNMENT, which we might expect in a country WITHOUT GOVERNMENT, our calamity is heightened by reflecting that we furnish the means by which we suffer."

He was clairvoyant. He was writing about the future Daylight Savings Time. Why do we put up with this crap anyways? This is the U.S. of A. for Pete's Sake. Why don't we just vote this silly clock changing nonsense into history???? I figure that the time change has us in such a stupor that we can't think straight until the next fall and then we are just so glad to get an extra hour of sleep that we shut up and put up with it. Well, wake up all you groggy people and write your congressman.

I have been a mess ever since the time change and it is worse because they keep springing it on us earlier than ever. Eventually, it will totally meet up in January where we will go forward one Sunday and fall back the very next and we'll have to call it darkness savings time if this keeps up. My kids are a mess. too. Behavior is in the toilet and everyone is stressed out. No one is keeping up with chores and homework as well and sleep schedules are a wreck. I drag around all day and then wake up when it's time to go to bed. All this for an extra hour of daylight in the evening? If you want more sun, get up earlier. (Or sleep outside and sleep in, getting the best of both worlds.) But it gets worse. Criminals are having a hard time adjusting too. Since the time change, bail hearings have been taking three times as long as usual because we have so many more people to process. And they are doing more rash things than normal. People who are barely keeping it together or are already over the edge do not need a push further down the cliff. Think about this, DST abolition is a public safety issue. It's a health issue too. Apparently, heart attacks rise in the days following the switch as well. And productivity drops significantly too. I ask you, does our economy need this?

What is so great about having light at night, anyways? Did you ever meet a child that believes it's bedtime before dark? Did you realize we could start the fireworks earlier on the Fourth of July if we left things well enough alone? But my best argument is this: Arizona and Hawaii are doing JUST FINE without it! Do you see anyone complaining and asking for it there? No, they are complaining about the other 48 stupid states that are not in sync with them. Oh, I just can't resist digressing here to say that once this poor Russian interpreter from Arizona I met at an over the phone interpreting conference told how the first time everyone else switched times, she didn't know and so was not there for the first hour of her shift that was sent to her from an out of state agency. Her supervisor said she should have been aware of it and known to switch. this just makes me roll my eyes because who in their right mind thinks, "Gee, what if all of the sudden, everyone but Arizona changed their clocks and I didn't know about it. I better find out if that ever happens. "? (Sorry, that's been bugging me for YEARS. Sometimes it's just better to get things off your chest right away, I guess.)

Lastly, you might want to know that if we don't reform, this kind modus operandi can get way out of hand. I heard on the radio that some people think we all ought to have the same time all over the world. Like, if we decide Tokyo is the right time, we all set our clocks to it, and us people on the other side of the world will just have to have our days at night, because, then American business men who have lots of business with Tokyo can be in sync with them. Don't even go there, I know you are thinking that the true time is Chicago time, but we don't need to do anything else to upset the rest of the world right now either. It's all ridiculous because EACH PERSON can just get up and work and play and eat and travel and call people on the other side of the world and bathe and go to bed and sleep WHENEVER works best for them and their activities and jobs.

And so, as I began, I will quote Thomas with a few twists: Wherefore, laying aside all state pride and prejudice in favour of modes and forms, the plain truth is that IT IS WHOLLY OWING TO THE CONSTITUTION OF THE PEOPLE, AND NOT TO THE CONSTITUTION OF THE GOVERNMENT that time is not as oppressive in Arizona and Hawaii as it is in _________ (fill in any of the other great 48.) Wake up everyone else, day or night, and let's demand our government stop moving time. There's plenty of other things that need moving and shaking.

Watch Me Slowly Lose My Mind

Wait, isn't that what this blog is all about? a chronicle of my descent into dementia. So one day you can all say, "Yes, I saw the signs it was coming to this, and now it has happened. Her brain has passed over to the other side and left her behind in the lurch." Today at church it happened again. They gave me a note saying one of my sons is supposed to give a small talk next week. I cringed. I've only been given one of these notes about 4 times already in the past 6 months and I have forgotten every single time to help my child prepare something. I told my neighbor and she suggested I stick the note on the fridge when I got home. Except by the time I got home, I'd already forgotten. But it gets worse. My son's scout leader called me a few weeks ago and told me they were meeting in one more hour. Could Gigio make it? Of course, I assured her I would bring him over. Except he was finishing up his homework and I didn't want to interrupt. By the time he finished, I had long since forgotten the whole conversation.
I spend more time looking for lost things than anyone else I know. Plus, I get lost on the way to the kitchen to get something for my husband and show up an hour later, with nothing in hand and no memory of his request till he asks me about it. He's stopped depending on me to remember to wake him when he needs to be somewhere early. I totally forget it. He has someone else call him. (Yes, he doesn't know how to set an alarm.)
I'm always planning to go places, like the bank on my way home from somewhere, but I usually forget. Or I plan on calling someone but I never remember till after midnight. I regularly forget what I was planning to do or why I went to a room and have to go back to where I was to try to figure out why I left.
You can ask my kids how forgetful I am, it takes quite a bit to jog my memory of events and things they bring up. Once I went to my son's kindergarten class to help out and one of the kids comes up to me all wide-eyed and says, "Do you really have short-term memory loss? Cause your son said you did."
There was something else I was going to tell you about, but I forgot.
Oh, by the way, Papi is on a homemade pizza binge so I have been making it a lot lately. I have this really good recipe. It works great when it works, but sometimes the dough is too stiff. One day I had to double the water to get it to work. The next time, I started out doubling the water and ended up having to double the flour. Could it be the humidity in the air? Or could it be I was doubling the recipe the first time and forgot to double the water? Or then, if you forget the olive oil altogether, you end up with a less maleable dough as well. Usually the pizza turns out better if you set the timer after putting it in the oven. Also, it helps if you turn off the oven when you turn off the timer and take the pizza out of the oven. These are tips to live by when making the perfect pizza.
Sometimes I get really discouraged with myself.
Reading this info by the Alzheimer's association didn't really help me feel too much better:
Memory loss that disrupts everyday life is not a normal part of aging. It may be a sign of Alzheimer's disease, a fatal brain disease that gets worse over time and causes changes in thinking, reasoning and behavior. Although the disease is more common in people 65 and older, it can also strike those in their 30s, 40s and 50s.

I always joke about donating my brain to science so they can study the earliest onset of Alzheimer's ever. It was a JOKE! This isn't really supposed to happen to people!

Here are 10 warning signs of Alzheimer's:
1. Memory loss. (Yup)
Forgetting recently learned information is one of the most common early signs of dementia. A person begins to forget more often and is unable to recall the information later.
What's normal? Forgetting names or appointments occasionally. (What about usually?)
Difficulty performing familiar tasks.
2. People with dementia often find it hard to plan or complete everyday tasks. Individuals may lose track of the steps to prepare a meal, place a telephone call or play a game.
What's normal? Occasionally forgetting why you came into a room or what you planned to say. (Again, define occasionally vs. usually.)
3.Problems with language.
People with Alzheimer's disease often forget simple words or substitute unusual words, making their speech or writing hard to understand. They may be unable to find their toothbrush, for example, and instead ask for "that thing for my mouth." (I thought that was a language skill called circumlocution. )
What's normal? Sometimes having trouble finding the right word. (Is every night by 9 pm sometimes?)
4.Disorientation to time and place. (OK, maybe I was born with this.)
People with Alzheimer's disease can become lost in their own neighborhoods, forget where they are and how they got there, and not know how to get back home.
What's normal? Forgetting the day of the week or where you were going.
Poor or decreased judgment. (Whew, this one sounds more like me.)
5.Those with Alzheimer's may dress inappropriately, wearing several layers on a warm day or little clothing in the cold.(No problem there.) They may show poor judgment about money, like giving away large sums to telemarketers.
What's normal? Making a questionable or debatable decision from time to time.
6.Problems with abstract thinking.
Someone with Alzheimer's disease may have unusual difficulty performing complex mental tasks, like forgetting what numbers are and how they should be used. ( I don't think I ever learned to use them normally, is that alright?)
What's normal? Finding it challenging to balance a checkbook.
Misplacing things. (Whew, again.)
7.A person with Alzheimer's disease may put things in unusual places: an iron in the freezer or a wristwatch in the sugar bowl. (Uh-oh. My kids show this sign.)
What's normal? Misplacing keys or a wallet temporarily. (Define temporarily)
8.Changes in mood or behavior. (Oops! Sure hope it's only PMS.)
Someone with Alzheimer's disease may show rapid mood swings – from calm to tears to anger – for no apparent reason.
What's normal? Occasionally feeling sad or moody.
9.Changes in personality.
The personalities of people with dementia can change dramatically. They may become extremely confused, suspicious, fearful or dependent on a family member.
What's normal? People’s personalities do change somewhat with age. (Thank goodness, because I don't think the young me would recognize the old me.)
10. Loss of initiative.
A person with Alzheimer's disease may become very passive, sitting in front of the TV for hours, sleeping more than usual or not wanting to do usual activities.
What's normal? Sometimes feeling weary of work or social obligations.
The difference between Alzheimer's and normal age-related memory changes

Someone with Alzheimer's disease symptoms
Forgets entire experiences
Rarely remembers later
Is gradually unable to follow written/spoken directions
Is gradually unable to use notes as reminders (Gradually would be important, it's ok to be born that way, right?)
Is gradually unable to care for self

Someone with normal age-related memory changes
Forgets part of an experience
Often remembers later
Is usually able to follow written/spoken directions
Is usually able to use notes as reminders
Is usually able to care for self

While I can make fun of myself and my air headed ways, I can't make fun of Alzheimer's itself. It's just not funny. Currently we are supporting my mother in law who is suffering from Alzheimer's. She often asks my husband if he has gotten married yet. We are having our 20th anniversary next month!

Not only that, but my grandmother and more than one of her siblings had this horrible disease. Oh, that was the thing I forgot! Last year I signed up to help with the Alzheimer's Association's yearly fund-raising campaign. But then I forgot to do it. Then I forgot to send it in. Then I was getting reminders and had to tell them that I kept forgetting. Eventually I got it all in only 2 months late. This year I vowed to do better. I have set up a website in the memory and honor my Grandma, Ruth Johnson.
Please visit my tribute page here. Please feel free to donate whatever you feel you can. I know times are hard, but even little amounts add up. The mind you save might just be one of your favorite blogger's. :) I'm so proud of myself I didn't forget to do this today! Please don't let my work go to waste. Go here now. After the campaign, check out the association's donate page at any time of the year for more information and other ways to help.

Mystery Abounds and Be Aware of SPD and Breast Cancer

Life is crazy and to protect the privacy of others, I can't even write about the mystery relatives showing up or anything. Let's just say, I have had coincidental meetings with amazing people. If I could tell about the last week, it would make for great soap opera fodder. I don't suppose any of you are writing a soap though.
Now, I have a tight schedule. I have till Friday to come up with costumes for the kids and then I have a whole 4 days to decide who to vote for. Nothing like cramming at the last minute. Meanwhile the medical mysteries of what to do with Carino continue to unwind their little story of drama. Anyone got an extra $4000 lying around?

Before the month ended, I just wanted to make you all aware of it being breast cancer awareness month. Someone suggested I repost the mammogram story this month, so just click on the link, it won't hurt, I promise!
When I went to get my last mammogram, (which I have to admit was today, because that's how I roll. It takes approximately 6 months to fit in setting an appointment for myself in all this chaos,) there was all this STUFF there for us for the awareness campaign including this little gem to remind us to do a self breast exam each month. I thought it was ridiculous and I also thought I could probably come up with a practical joke or two, not to mention what my kids could come up with if I let them get ahold of it. But I read what it said and it guilt tripped me. I'll get right on it (in 6 months) and it will probably be easier than regular flossing since no one can run off with any of the required body parts the way they do with the floss. Who knows? I could probably just delegate the whole exam to Papi and he could play Dr. I bet he wouldn't forget.
Anyways, here is the mammogram link.



The other new thing I just found out is that this month is also Sensory Processing Disorder awareness month so here's a link to my little post on that since I have no time to tell you anything new about that today. But please don't just skip it if you've never heard of it. And pass it on! Also, check out Three Channel's list of blogs educating others this month about sensory processing disorder. Or this post is good too! And if you want to win a book about the subject, click here and tell Kia I sent ya! If you win, will you pass it on to me when you're done? And if you want some cool sensory stuff for SIers, click here. Now I think I'm really done.

And have a safe and happy Halloween!

You Can Have Fun Helping NieNie

I am such a total dorky airhead that I forgot to post this till I just got around to reading people's blogs again. I was supposed to tell you to submit entries to this book but I spaced it, and that was so annoyingly irritating of me because many, many of you have far better things to submit than I do. So, the deadline was 3 days ago, but I bet if you sneaked one in, no one would care.

This is what it's about. Stephanie Nielson of this blog and her husband Christian were in a plane crash on August 16th. The pilot was killed and Christian has burns on 30% of his body, Stephanie has burns on 80% of her body. They are in need of help for their recovery. So, Sue over at Navel Gazing came up with the brilliant idea of compiling a book called Sometimes Life Is Funny, with submission from bloggers about the humorous side of life. The plan is to publish this in November so that you will all buy a ton of copies to give as gifts for Christmas. I'm sure it is going to be great, and the proceeds will go to the recovery fund. How cool is that? It's a win-win-win thingamadoodle! I can't imagine going through the recovery process they are going through. Burns are so excruciatingly painful, people! There is a recovery site at http://www.nierecovery.com. Read Stephanie's blog and the recovery site and you will just want to do something to help them. The info on the book is at this post on Sue's blog. Keep checking back on her site for more info on when the book will be available. Plus, Sue is so fun to read, you'll be glad it takes forever for November to get here.

The Responsibility Project

Mom Central sent me info on this new site sponsored by Liberty Mutual. Even I have seen the recent Liberty Mutual ad campaign, and I don't watch much T.V. After airing these new commercials, they received an overwhelming response from people all over the nation who were appreciative of messages like this.

It is refreshing to see someone celebrating a positive value like responsibility, even if it is a smart marketing move. It's brilliant, really, because it is a hot subject. Many of us feel that it's a value that is slipping in our society. Because of the response, Liberty Mutual decided to dedicate a site to discussing this value. You can visit it at http://www.responsibilityproject.com. The goal of the site is to get people thinking and talking about responsibility more, which hopefully will inspire more responsible behavior in our society.
I have thought a lot about how to teach my children to be responsible, because it really doesn't seem to come naturally. We learn it as we mature, but sometimes it seems like each generation has it easier and easier and we don't even realize the need to be responsible for so many things. It seems as if before, more responsibility was naturally built into a child's life, out of necessity. The consequences were more noticeable and immediate if you didn't follow through on things. So few people seem to be willing to take responsibility for their own actions anymore. Of course, we still all seem to want everyone else to be totally responsible! This topic is well worth a collective conversation and introspection. I feel our society could make some very positive changes and avoid a lot of chaos if we will make a conscientious effort to change for the better with regards to our personal responsibility.
Interestingly enough, when you start talking about responsibility, you end up talking about another subject. I just read a book about ethics. It's called Moral Courage by Rushworth M. Kidder. The responsibility site overlapped and discussed some of the same issues. It might seem easy to live by your values, but often we find ourselves in situations where we aren't sure what to do, at least not till the moment passes. Where does our responsibility begin and end in any given situation? Often, it is not so cut and dried. Interestingly a study of what was considered the most important moral values all over the world in all kinds of cultures and settings showed one of the core values was responsibility. Problem is, too often we are hoping everyone else will be responsible for us. Things don't work well that way. But how do we make that more obvious to the up and coming generation? Just like kindness begins with me, responsibility begins with me too. We have to model it all the time. Sometimes I feel like they are just learning that it is important for mom to be responsible, but not them! We seem to need to point it out more, and let them live the consequences of not being responsible more often. I feel like I need to improve the structure of our lives in such a way that the children will realize more clearly that if they are not responsible with chores and helping around the house, or doing their homework, or sticking up for someone, or whatever else, they will be letting themselves and others down. Bottom line, it's a subject worth visiting and re-visiting.
This site is a tool to think and talk about different aspects of what is responsible. There are about 7 short videos you can watch that open up questions and discussion. Some of them are cartoons and most are on a level even a small child can understand and comment simply on it. Others will go over their heads. We watched 4 of them for family night and talked about what everyone thought about what they saw and how it applies in our home. The kids even wanted to see some of them like Hot Seat twice. This can be related to things like, replace the toilet paper roll when it's done, and don't waste it all at once! or the ever popular, "SHUT THE DOOR!" Some of the videos give a clear example of a great act and others leave the ending open and let you think about all the different options the character had to choose from. There is also a blog that brings up different things such as news stories and leaves open discussions. Of course people of all walks of life comment, so you may or may not agree with any one comment. There is a section called What is your policy? where you can define what you see as responsible. Also, there is an open resource guide and spots to tell your own stories.
I think it's nice that Liberty Mutual jumped on this interest to create a hub to get people talking. My point? Go on over and check it out, and put your 2 cents worth in.
And then, come back and tell me, what is the best thing you have done to teach your children responsibility?

Here's Something to Keep Ya Busy!

Do you need to purge some stuff from your home? Here's a great idea- go check it out and see if you can help Michelle do something great.
Hopefully I'll have some time to post something soon. Take care, all!

Box Tops

Not long ago, I joined a blog network called Cafe Mom, a fun site for moms to connect. Recently, they informed me about a great contest put on by Box Tops for Education. I thought it was worth passing on the info to all you parents out there. You know Box Tops, you cut the symbol off the box top and the kids take it to school. They all add up and the school can get things with them for the school. If you have a child in grade school, you surely have heard of them. I don't buy a lot of boxed foods, but over the course of a year, I can still manage to hand in quite a few box tops. When I do get convenience foods for lunches and all I try to get things that have the box tops.
Now they are doing a contest together with the Kimberly-Clark company called Bonus Box Tops. You can now find box tops on things like Huggies, Cottonelle and Kleenex. This is neat because you can buy the kleenex boxes to donate to the class and give them box tops at the same time.
I found it easy to enter the contest, and I haven't got any spam or anything from it, which has made me really happy. You can enter here every day between June 28 and September 15. Why would you want to enter? This is what you can win for your child's school- 100,000 Bonus Box Tops-which translates into $10,000 for your school. That is nothing to sneeze at, people! I would love to win that for my children's school! BUT, as they say in the infomercials, THAT'S NOT ALL! They are also going to give the school an exclusive concert with Jordan Pruitt, who is a big name around Radio Disney. I'm sure the children would be thrilled with that, too! The winner will be chosen at random on September 22. I'm planning on entering every day. Wish me luck; I hope all the parents from Freedom Academy will join in, because I never win anything. But, with this thing, I don't have much to lose and the children have a lot to gain. It would sure beat having to buy stuff for the annual fund raiser! So, if you want to enter too, go to www.RockBacktoSchool.com.

Search for the Cure

I want to share excerpts of a little anecdote in the life of a little boy named Coleman who has a brain tumor. He and his twin Caden are just so delightful, you can't help but love them, and their mom, so awesome too!

The reader's digest version of the bunny foo foo story:

Part I: Most of you who have been with our carepage for a while probably know who BUNNY FOO-FOO is. For those who don’t… This is a present Coleman got from my sister Jan on his first Easter, I think it was- maybe I’m wrong Jan, all I know is he’s had this bunny since I can remember and takes the thing EVERYWHERE.When Coleman first had his brain surgery- Sept. of ’06, Bunny’s ribbon was probably at least a fourth of an inch thick. He twirls this ribbon when he’s asleep, when he’s awake, watching TV, driving in the van; while he’s singing- watch some of his videos and you’ll notice it…. The ribbon is down to a thread that is ready to fall apart any day now. The bunny has been at every MRI, every chemo, every blood draw, every spinal tap, every- EVERYTHING. Here’s our dilemma, if you haven't guessed by now- BUNNY FOO-FOO is MISSING!....
Part II: Okay, the first thing that I’d better cover tonight, is BUNNY FOO FOO. No, we haven’t found him, but I think we have solved our problem, at least I’m hoping we have. Last night bedtime was not fun. Mr. Dramatic was quietly sobbing over Bunny… “ oh where tud ya be? I pom-missed I would never weave you, ann I did. Now what tan I do? I yust doan know what to do.” I tried and tried to reason with him. Caden even went around trying to find every stuffed animal he could get his hands on and throwing them one by one at Coleman. They all came flying right back at Cade.

FINALLY they both fell asleep.
This morning went great…then Coleman got tired, naptime came and so did the quiet sobs, “Oh how tan I wiv wif-out my Bunny? I hope he’s otay, I tan’t bee-weeve how mush I miss him. Will I ever see him adain? How am I su-poze ta do ANY fing wif out him, I doan fink I tan!” … for some reason, I had reached my breaking point. I could not stand the tears and sobs any more- and locked myself in the bedroom and started to cry…and pray. ALL over a bunny, but I asked God if we could please just find the bunny, that Coleman had been through so much, and all he wanted was his bunny. It was torture for me to sit and listen to him sob....
After we sat there for a while, I told him to go get Bunny Fee Fee. He started in about how it wasn’t the same, but I went and got Caden’s bunny and looked at the tag. I could barely make out the word CARTERS…so online we went.
I looked at the carter’s website. Nope. Target- where my sister thought she had bought the bunny FOUR years ago,…I know, a long shot…NOPE. I figure- Ebay…why not, I type in Carters stuffed bunny. Lots of PINK bunnies show up, so I try Carter’s Blue Stuffed Bunny. Lots of blue ones, but not the Foo-Foo, until we scroll down to THIS:
(picture of the bunny!)
Coleman screams, “THERE HE IS! But he wooks band new! I bet daddy went an dot him all fixed for me!” I told him Bunny was getting pretty tattered up, and his stuffing was falling out, so I bet he went and had a stem cell transplant and peeled all his old tattered material off and is brand new again just like you Coleman!
IT WORKED! Coleman said, “I doan know WHAT he did, but whatever it was, HE WOOKS DOOD!”
He sat for an hour and stared at that picture with a smile on his face, so wide it almost knocked his ears off! He touched the screen, he said, “mommy? WOOK he’s wavin at me!” He was so happy…

Part III: (Thanks to his aunt Barb):

Isn't he adorable? I so want this miserable stem cell transplant he went through to work! If you want to read more about him, his carepage is here.

So many kids suffer so many ways, I know cancer is just one of them, but it is a terrible one. One I wouldn't wish on anyone, especially a child or their families. I know there's no way to end all suffering, but I do think we shouldn't turn our heads and ignore it, rather, we should reach out and help with compassion any way we can. We have come so far in our research and treatment of these diseases, there may well be some really great breakthroughs on the near horizon if we can just keep the wheels turning in that direction.

Take a moment to watch this video Julian's mom, Mimi made.



Now, here's some things you can do to help. Sign this petition here.

Or you can donate to help search for a cure here.

Or you can click on It's 4 the Kids at the top of the sidebar and either buy a gift or offer your talents to help them earn more money for the kids.

2 Teach is 2 Touch Lives 4 Ever-2

Dear Misdavie (Miss Davies),

We are so glad you were our teacher this year. We loved our class, even if we had to learn not to tattle on Connor when he was "bugging us" You and your aids (specially Miss Audrey) were very patient with all of us when you wouldn't do what we wanted you to do; lots more patient than we were with you. Maybe someday we will be big like that. We had a lot of fun! We know we didn't like to write our names at first but you helped us and now we can! We are so proud!

We are also happy that you taught us to use the computer and took us to PE and OT and the library, even if we hate being quiet in that place. Thanks for helping us learn to sit and listen and do what the class is doing, that will help us a lot. Thanks for all the snacks, too!

Thanks for letting us show and tell our toys a lot and for reading bug books to us. We can tell you really love us and you're not nice just cuz it's your job, cuz you like to tell our mom about all the things we say and do in your class! You are a nice teacher. Our mom says you have to work real hard to be such a good teacher. We hope you have some great kids in your next class that are just as fun as us! Have a fun summer and we hope you learn to play with worms. We love you a whole bunch!

Love,

Thing 1 and Thing 2

(that's our secret spy names) oh, and thanks for the bubble swords!

2 Teach is 2 Touch Lives 4 Ever-1

Many teachers have to work under less than adequate circumstances, and my hat goes off to them, but today I want to give a great big public thank you from the uttermost bottomless pit of my heart to a team of four great educators: Mr. Bills, Mr. Preece, Mr. Robinson and Ms. Coombs. This team combined forces this year to integrate English, US History, Science and EMT/Life Sports to a group of close to 100 students all day long, every other day. Not only were these subjects taught together, they were taught hands on: going places and doing things like visiting a Japanese interment camp or biking to the river to scoop out water specimens and looking at the variety of life hidden there under a microscope, or learning from a movie or making presentations or living through a day of getting a taste of discrimination. I could go on, but hopefully you get the idea.
I know this year has been stressful, to say the least for these teachers. I'm sure they have second guessed themselves many times or may have felt frustrated that things haven't turned out exactly as they had envisioned. This program was put together rather quickly and there were plenty of kinks to work out, not the least of which were dealing with those who opposed this new approach and wanted to see it fail. I told the administration recently how I felt about these teachers, and on top of it all, I found out that they not only put their reputations on the line and their job security, they took a pay cut. As the administrator put it, they are now on equal ground with the Special Ed teachers who do the same. (Excuse me, I need to interrupt this tribute to complain about why it is that those that are doing the biggest jobs are getting paid the least? I just don't get it. Feel free to send them cash awards!)
So, I just wanted to say to you four teachers that you all are amazing. You are inspiring. Your dedication is incredible. All the praise I am about to heap on you is deserving. (You really deserve a raise, too!). I want to thank you for your patience. Yes, I know you didn't feel patient, for dealing with a big group of teens is a daunting task, but you used a lot of patience because you survived to the end. I know this, because I am a mom and know that dealing with even one can be overwhelming at times. You kept your head above water. Pat yourself on the back. I want to thank you for caring enough to make the sacrifices you made to make this year happen. Thank you for the time and thought and effort and planning that went into setting up a new curriculum. Your enthusiasm was contagious. I appreciate your care in bringing your subjects to life. I'm grateful for your efforts to form a more united group of students and help them appreciate and learn from one another. Thank you for taking the time to teach them more than subjects. Thank you for really caring about these kids as individuals and helping them find themselves and motivating them to do better, for giving them a better vision of what they can be.
As a mom, I am so appreciative of the love and friendship you have offered my daughter, and for having faith in her and truly wanting to help her learn. As you know, she is a wonderful and intelligent (not to mention complex) girl, but with very few exceptions, her educational experience has been disappointing. Few teachers have cared if she learns or not. Let's just crank her down the assembly line and spit her out the other side and who cares if anything productive happened along the way. I watched an enthusiastic child tale a nose dive and not even let me try to help her learn. They made her feel dumb and she gave up. I know most of her feedback has been about her feelings and the bonding with everyone, but this year was the best year she has ever had in school. She came home on a regular basis, excited to tell me about what she had done in school and what she had learned that day (something that rarely went on before) and the conversations she had, and the friendships she had formed, and the difficulties that arose and the fun she was having. I'm sure this was a year she will always remember and many of her friendships will continue.
Maybe some students didn't like the setup or get much out of it, but if that's the case, most likely they were expecting something different and didn't want to adjust or let you reach them. Maybe it wasn't the best style of learning for some, but for a big set of brilliant underachievers, it was spot on. My girl accepted the chance to make a change for the better and there couldn't have been a better set up for her. She never had science in elementary school, was confused and bored in Jr. High and struggled and was utterly ignored by the "teacher" despite requests for help until she failed in her first high school experience with science. She came into this year with a very negative attitude towards the subject, which mom took the brunt of while she repeated biology online. Now, she actually likes many areas of science and finds it interesting even though she told me that secretly and she won't admit it openly to the world. She wasn't always as enthusiastic as the teacher, mind you but she noted that enthusiasm and occasionally it was catching!
My daughter is also a walking accident and the PE teacher was very helpful and patient teacher and friend with all her little injuries. She learned to love so many new things, and is more likely to try more things after hiking, biking, cross country skiing and the like. I'm glad she learned some of these activities that can get her out into the fresh air and help her get some exercise throughout her life. She often shares with pride that she knows how to take care of different injuries and what to do in different emergencies as well.
Thanks for bringing history alive with trips and movies and discussions. My daughter learned interesting and relevant lessons about our past while she was in this class. Her awareness and sense of how things ought to be increased through the experiences shared in the class.
Thank you for your patience and care in bringing great reading material to her, for believing in her abilities and encouraging her. This year, for the first time, she read a book all on her own, cover to cover. No one had taken the time to find the kind of book that would motivate her to do this. She learned, quite by accident through a recommended book that the format it was printed in was easier for her to follow. This discovery has been invaluable. She also wrote out projects and papers and started typing some of them all on her own as well. Thanks for the thought provoking activities and discussions that inspired her to come home talking about what she learned.
Most of all, thank you for the life lessons and the examples you gave to these kids. You might not have realized it, but you taught the students important lessons about not giving up, working through difficulties, facing and accepting responsibility for mistakes and making things better. You might not realize how much of that was observed, and while I know she didn't articulate it to you, my child noticed and respects each one of you for your character. My hat goes off to you and I wish there were more like you out there. Good luck in the future and carry on!

The Suspense is Over

Ok, Ok, I won't keep scaring you, I did survive the walk. Honestly, it is a walk most people could do, as long as you don't have to keep leaving the path to chase kids out of the pond and the playground and past the aviary. It's a very pretty park. That walk would've taken 5 times as long with all my kids so luckily, I went with my sister! She was very well behaved. We saw a guy who couldn't use his feet anymore and was wheelchair bound get up and walk after some stem cell treatment he had recently. That is exciting! 90% of Lupus patients are women. This is what happens to the other 10%

Just kidding! These clowns were just trying to liven up the party. My pictures came out with lots of shadows and pretty scary shots of me, so I'll refer you for some pics of us and some good info on lupus to my sister Amy's blog. I'm so out of shape, I realized when I used my parent's scale and found out I'm 10-12 pounds overweight. I know, that's nothing, I will step on my foot now, Michelle. Then after the walk on Saturday, I bent over to pick up a pamphlet and felt stiff and sore when I went to stand up. Probably has something to do with gardening earlier in the week, but a lady we were talking to asked me if I had lupus too. That was it; I better do something about this. While I was busy wearing exercise gear and hoping to burst into spontaneous exercise, the stretchy sweats allowed my mid section to expand which makes my jeans uncomfortable so maybe I'm going to have to start wearing the jeans instead to remind me to exercise.

Anyhow, it was a lot of fun and informative too! We think the whole family should join us next year. Between my sister and I we have earned $280 for the cause and you can still donate over the next few months! It's so easy, just click on the donate button. I think that if everyone who heard of any cause even donated one dollar, we could do so much more. Speaking of causes, don't forget the people in Myanmar and China right now, they could use a dollar or two. not to mention a prayer or two. That's all for now, it's back to work for me.

Be Aware: Sensory Integration

The baby was so active in the womb that her mom dreamed it was sticking it's arms down it's mom's legs, and then when she felt her stomach stretch and looked down, she could see the shape of a small arm and hand sticking out. After the baby was born, she was cleaned, poked, and prodded, wrapped up and picked at to draw blood. Barely a peep escaped her lips. But then, they went and put a diaper on her. Her wails brought the house down. This baby jumped a foot when a door shut, wanted to suck incessantly, and went for 6-7 hours stretches at a time without sleeping. She was never floppy, never needed to have someone support her head. That was just the first 3 days of life. Lucky for her mom, it was her first and she had no idea what she was in for. The nurses knew, they sent her home with extra diapers and things because they were pretty sure Mom wasn't going to get out much...

Sensory integration refers to how we receive and process the information that comes in to us through our senses. New babies have to learn how to process things and over time we get better at it. For some of us, things don't go all that smoothly.

To some extent, sensory issues are pretty clear to all of us, as we all have our little quirks. Some of us think okra is yummy and others can't stand it's slimy texture. Some people fall apart when a chalkboard is scratched, others couldn't care less. I'm sure you've noticed that sometimes it's fun to listen to loud music, but other times, it is just annoying racket. Think of things like this on a much bigger scale. Some kids seem to only deal with these issues and for others, it comes along with Autism, Downs Syndrome, ADHD and many other conditions. The next Diagnostic Scale Manual will list this as it's own condition, Sensory Processing Disorder. Right now, it is known by many names, but Sensory is usually in there.

Ho-Hum!, you are probably thinking. Well, not if you had been searching for nigh unto 16 years for the root cause of a set of confusing symptoms that were making life difficult for your children and yourself, and they keep getting labels that fit in some ways but don't really quite match up completely. Then it's about as exciting as winning a lottery, or discovering a new galaxy or falling in love or something along the lines of "EUREKA!". This is the Espinoza Syndrome: the hub around which all our difficulties lie. That's why I'm going to write this sort of boring thing so that someone else who had no idea and needs to know, will find out and it will change their life. This discovery has been cathartic for me, because it is the first thing that totally fits. Everything ties back into this. It is THE MISSING LINK; finally found!

So here's the deal. We all come with our own little wiring system. In utero, millions of little nerve cells form and attach together into a neat little system that looks like a tree, ever branching out. The deal is, we usually form a whole lot more of these little branches than we really need. Partly because some of these connections are kinda messed up; imagine someone who got on the wrong flight and ended up in Jersey instead of Jamaica. So, usually the ones that end up in the right place form better connections, just like puzzle pieces in the right place work better. Sometime late in pregnancy, the body kinda prunes this tree, getting rid of weak or dysfunctional branches. Too bad you can't do that to your family tree you're thinking, right? But guess what? Sometimes too many or too few branches get pruned. Or simply, the wrong branches get cut off. This makes for little ones (and grown-ups) who have a much harder time using their senses. The information coming in through their senses can be incorrect or inconsistent. They can be over or under sensitive with any and all of the different senses and this can vary from day to day. Because of this, some people seek out more sensory stimuli or actively avoid some stimuli that they find overwhelming. This also affects their arousal level- which involves alertness, focus and filtering information as well as self regulation and relaxation. The different senses being processed are: Touch, Proprioception - (gotcha! This means your awareness of where your own body and it's parts are at without looking at them.) Hearing, Vestibular (how you handle movement), Sight, Taste, and Smell.

That's the boring part. Well, actually, here's another pretty boring list of symptoms you might see in a child with these issues, but I promise you that living with them is anything but boring:
-Oversensitivity or undersensitivity to different sensory experiences.
-High distractibility, problems paying attention and staying focused on tasks.
-Unusually high or low activity levels.
-Frequent tuning out or withdrawing.
-Intense, out of proportion reactions to challenging situations and unfamiliar environments.
-Impulsiveness, little or no self control
-Difficulty transitioning from one activity or situation to another
-Rigidity and inflexibility at times
-Clumsiness and carelessness
-Discomfort in group situations
-Social or emotional difficulties
-Developmental and learning delays and acting silly or immature
-Awkwardness, insecurity, or feeling stupid or weird
-Low frustration threshold; tendency to tantrum longer and more intensely that other children and more difficulty returning to a calm state
-Difficulty transitioning from an alert, active state to a calm, rested state like from waking to sleeping or active to calm activity.
*this list basically comes from this book here.

Of course, everyone does some of this sometimes but if it is not age appropriate, is just much more intense or frequent and interrupts daily function, welcome to the SI crowd. What causes it? You guessed it, we're not sure, but if you take a father who sniffs everything he touches and can't pay attention to a sentence that is longer than 7 words, and add a highly distracted mother who can't look at American cheese without getting a headache and then you add this kind of pregnancy and delivery, you have a good recipe for it.

What does it look like day to day? Read my blog :) I must clarify that my kids are primarily sensory seekers, mixed with a healthy sprinkling of sensations they avoid. Kids who are mostly over sensitive may look really different. (They probably don't ever comb their hair either though-it bugs them too much.) Everyone is unique. The list above is the unpleasant side of it, but it can also be as exciting as an action flick: kids who jump out the second story window, eat drywall, or bounce on their hoppy ball at the tip top of a pile of blankets and towels. It can be pretty racy too. You see a lot of skin: skin that doesn't want to feel clothes on it. Not everyone is lucky enough to have a free naked butler racing to open the door the minute the doorbell rings. On the other side of the coin, you will have someone piling on the tight layers of clothes or wearing their coat all day long to feel comfortable. Your furniture may be in constant movement, to the point that you feel like you are living with a bunch of stage managers and the play is never over. The trampoline becomes an outdoor room, more indispensable than kleenex, because the natives are literally bouncing off the walls. It can also lead to emotional traditions like the Annual Basement Flooding, and the Furniture Hacking Fests. It's an action-packed lifestyle, but if it gets too exciting- like your daughter doesn't sleep till she's 5 years old, your son is slashing your mattress and box springs because you sent him to his room, and another can't stay seated long enough to eat a meal or learn at school, you can help. Check out the book reference above, click on the sensory smart link at the bottom of my sidebar, or take a look through some web sites like this. Even if you don't have these issues, you'd be surprised how much better you will understand any kid or how your senses affect you.

How do you help? In a nutshell, you can do some occupational therapy that helps them meet their craving for sensory stimulation in safe and productive ways and helps them calm, or you can gradually help their bodies learn to tolerate things that are way too overstimulating for them. Hope this is helpful to someone somewhere who's just getting started down this road-pass it on!

Be Aware: Diagnoses and All of Us

What are Pervasive Developmental Disorders?
The diagnostic category of pervasive developmental disorders (PDD) refers to a group of disorders characterized by delays in the development of socialization and communication skills. Parents may note symptoms as early as infancy, although the typical age of onset is before 3 years of age. Symptoms may include problems with using and understanding language; difficulty relating to people, objects, and events; unusual play with toys and other objects; difficulty with changes in routine or familiar surroundings, and repetitive body movements or behavior patterns.
Autism (a developmental brain disorder characterized by impaired social interaction and communication skills, and a limited range of activities and interests) is the most characteristic and best studied PDD.
Other types of PDD include Asperger's Syndrome, Childhood Disintegrative Disorder, and Rett's Syndrome. Children with PDD vary widely in abilities, intelligence, and behaviors. Some children do not speak at all, others speak in limited phrases or conversations, and some have relatively normal language development. Repetitive play skills and limited social skills are generally evident. Unusual responses to sensory information, such as loud noises and lights, are also common.(http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/pdd/pdd.htm)

That's just one definition of one cluster of developmental issues. Every one I looked up was similar, but different. Try googling a few of these:
ADD/ADHD, SID/SPD, ODD, OCD, CD, CDD, AS, PDD's, SDD's, SLI, SPLD, CAPD, Bipolar Disorder, LD's, and we're just scratching the surface.

Welcome to the confusing world of syndromes, developmental delays, mental illnesses and other neurological injuries or difficulties, not to mention acronyms. It is so confusing because no one really totally agrees exactly on where a particular diagnosis starts or ends or where it overlaps with another. Things are being re-categorized all the time. In children, these diagnoses are even more confusing, as their symptoms are based on observation, and vary from how they appear in adults. You can take a person with symptoms and get as many different diagnoses as there are people diagnosing. Add to this that from one year to the next in a child's development, they might present differently, and their diagnosis can change. Then, where does personality end and disorder take over? And here is another seeming contradiction. A child can be considered developmentally delayed or learning disabled and in need of special education, while at the exact same time, be considered a genius and in need of gifted services.

Here's the conclusions I've come to:
1. Neurological science is a new and fast growing discipline with lots of changes in nomenclature and understanding along the way.
2. People who seem "different" really have a lot in common with a lot of "normal" people out there. However:
3. Somewhere along the line, something caused them to be "more" of a particular trait or traits to the point that it has a negative impact albeit mild, moderate or severe, on their progress and functioning in the environment they live in. That's when it becomes a diagnosis, because they are now in need of some kind of support in order to function to the best of their abilities.
4. Somehow, all these syndromes and spectrum are interrelated and have symptoms in common. People tend to have a cluster of conditions, not one in isolation. Either the root issue causes the others, or somehow, it is all related to the same difference somewhere there in the brain, causing symptoms that may fit in an array of different classifications.
5. Time will tell where this all goes. Patience and aggressive determination somehow have to become bedfellows if you are living with a condition.
6. We all need to learn to understand and embrace the positive qualities people with different disorders have. These conditions are two-edged swords. One side is amazingly beautiful, the other side is miserably difficult. Don't think of those who suffer these conditions as just some kind of damaged goods, they are not. If you really look close, they are a lot like you and me.

Here's where the story gets personal. I have hesitated to say anything beyond the acronym ADHD in an open forum like this, where I can't read your vibes and respond to your reactions, because I don't want to change the way you look at my kids. They really are fun, whimsical, wonderful kids, but...I didn't just study everything under the sun for fun, I did it out of necessity. My kids are a little bit "extra" in different ways. Finding help for them has been a maze: at times a frustrating and frightening maze.They don't easily fit into one category, which is why I like to just call it the Espinoza Syndrome, or the Scooby gene for fun sometimes. The best general description as a group would be ADHD with Sensory Integration issues. Some other labels one or the other have been given are Dysthemia, Dyslexia, Depression, Generalized Anxiety, Speech Language Delay, Central Auditory Processing Disorder, some symptoms of, but not full blown Oppositional Defiant Disorder and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and my youngest two as PDD but considered off the spectrum at this point. In many circles, PDD means you're on the spectrum. See what I mean about confusing? For now, it's for lack of a better term. We will wait and see, somewhere kitty corner to the spectrum for now. Technically, it doesn't matter as long as we can understand and help them grow. Maybe another day I'll describe what this looks like, but today I'm trying to make a point about diagnoses. Diagnoses are not set in stone and are not death sentences, and are not meant to stigmatize people. They shouldn't be a reason to discriminate, but a means to understand someone and ways to find things that work for them and access help for them.

We may sound like a nut house to you when you read our little list. But I see it as just one neurological issue that is causing this "charm bracelet" of acronyms as the OASIS people call it. Many kids on the spectrum are collectors of diagnoses too. They may be both on the autism spectrum and in the ADD bunch too.
In my children's case, they aren't severely affected like many children I've seen, just enough to need some help to lead a normal life. I don't think they should see themselves as disabled or limited, but as unique, wonderful people with a few extra challenges. I am sure that they are all gifted and intelligent. With the help they are getting, they are pretty much like any other kid out there. Greater than average blogging material maybe, and adorable. Without help, things would be miserable around here, this I know from experience. We're lucky in our case that we can do a lot at home for them.

It's true, our house is a circus, a zoo, a wild place but it is also a place where there is love and progress and I am amazed at how wonderful these guys are who stretch me to my very limits and sometimes beyond. Thanks to them, I have had to learn a little more than the average parent. Sometimes I resent the extra work, but there is extra joy. There are so many parents out there facing MUCH greater challenges. They really need help and understanding from those around them. It's way too hard to do alone, in a vacuum.

So, maybe this is more than an autism post, but the autistic community belongs to this greater community that is out there. The parents of the kids that are "more" than your average kid. Thanks to my children, I can begin to understand and empathize with what other parents and children are dealing with. I want to reach out and help. I want them to be understood and supported. I know how much they need it, because my littler challenges have left me treading water and almost drowning on occasion. My children have taught me to be aware of how wonderful and amazing the human brain is and how unique but similar we all are. Please take the time this month to get to know your autistic neighbors and learn a little more about what goes beyond the stereotypes. Once you understand them, you will be a better friend and your life will be enriched with your new understanding and ability to reach out to them. There is a whole range of different faces of autism, from the ones with Asperger's, who use our words almost seamlessly and just seem odd or difficult, to the silent who only talk through their actions. If you want to read a good post to get you started, click here. Tell me you don't know someone like this man, or have some traits in common. I dare you. :)

Al

Al was a little boy who had loving, well educated parents and a great home environment. His mom loved to take him and his sister on outings, play music and read books to them. He had a close relationship with his little sister that carried throughout their lives. His father gave him a compass when he was little and he was fascinated by it. He was a bright boy.

When Al got to school, things got harder for him. He really didn't like school. See, Al wasn't talking much yet. Verbal communication was not his forte. He was 9 before he could successfully communicate his thoughts well. Following the strict school setting and focusing on what the teacher wanted him to was not going so well. He just wasn't interested in what the teacher wanted to do. He was doing poorly in school. One teacher went so far as to tell his parents that Al would never make a success of anything. His parents didn't believe that teacher. One day Al's uncle gave him a geometry book and he loved it. He started to do really well in math.

When Al was a teenager, his family had to make a move and it was determined it would be best for him to finish at boarding school. It was a mess. He didn't get along with his peers. They teased him for his ethnic background. He still didn't do well outside of math and science. He left boarding school. After testing and failing to get into a prestigious institute, the director, recognizing his very high scores in math and science suggested he study and test again. He got in the second time. He did finish school this time, but he was a disorganized and absent minded student. The teachers were often exasperated at all his questioning and the fact that he refused to study things he wasn't interested in. He was moody one day and happy go lucky the next.

Al lived in a time when there weren't a hundred acronyms: no special ed classes, gifted programs, or child psychologists around to help him. Today he would have an IEP to accommodate him. He may have been labeled PDD or ADD or ODD or any combination of things. He might have been considered to be on the autism spectrum. He might not have had a label, but that didn't change the fact that some parts of life were quite hard for him. Luckily. he was one of the children with enough going for him to make it through school. Many kids with similar issues didn't, and don't, fare so well. In spite of all their wonderful abilities, they end up dropping out or in dead end jobs that never utilize their full potential. Many struggle their whole lives somehow out of step with the rest of humanity and unable to get along with people.

Al struggled after school to find good jobs with his track record. Later on however, he received recognition and acclaim for his Theory of Relativity. In time, the whole world came to recognize and appreciate the brilliant and wonderful person that he was, that his parents always knew he was. His life wasn't without bumps, but he was easily one of the most influential people in the modern world and most of our technology, your cell phone for example, is based on his work. So, the next time you look at that boy who doesn't talk much yet, or seems moody or quirky, or doesn't pay attention in class, or stubbornly refuses to do his homework, just remember, you may be looking at the next Einstein.

Random update on airhead part I forgot , and more!

I wanted to put this link on the last post, but it wasn't working, now it is!- please click on it- it takes you to a short video clip and for every viewing money is donated to autism research. http://www.whatkindofworlddoyouwant.com/videos/view/id/408214
It is beautiful and powerful.

Airhead: Every fall after planting and harvesting through spring and summer I put away the garden stuff in the shed and the leftover seeds in a safe place. The problem with the safe place is, by the next spring I never remember where it was. As soon as I give up and buy new seeds, I find the old ones. I am searching high and low and racking my brains. I even remember telling myself to remember where I was putting them and I even remember supposedly where that was, but there are no seeds in sight. sigh!

On another note, don't faint but I exercised 2 times last week! And I'm still alive even!

Thing thoughts: Thing 1 isn't helping my executive functioning self esteem much. Here's the latest. After forgetting something and saying I was silly, he answers, in a conspiratorial tone: Mom, they's something wrong with you's head. Next, I'm trying to get something to work on the computer and he says I'm crazy and I respond that he needed to help my brain by saying things like it works great instead. He says: no, you brain is wrong, my brain is right! OK.....

Thing 1 has us all categorized by whether we are Autobots or Decepticons. (I may be crazy, but I'm an Autobot.) Guess what Thing 2 is? He loves Decepticons, because they like power. Who should I be most worried about here? Thing 2 was caught with "la mano en la masa" or as we also say, red handed, except black handed would be more accurate. Then it was found that he had a black marker up his sleeve, and he had so casually just run his hand along the wall, creating a dotted line just over the purple line he already made. Luckily, unlike the purple, it washed off. He just cracked me up because he let out a huge burp, then said, "Bless me!"

Friday the Things had to run with me to a meeting at the school and when I went to put them in the car, they were all wet (playing with water again). Rush to grab new clothes to throw on them, and very creative footwear. Here's the footwear tale. Every once in a while, the boys lose a shoe. This presents a problem because even though they have the same shoes, there are still 4 feet involved, so 3 shoes doesn't cut it. One day out of desperation, I put some rain boots that originally Enigma wore on one of them. They were a little big, but tall enough to stay on. They looked a little odd, but it beat bare feet. On one occasion or other, in a pinch, everyone but Papi has worn these boots this winter. I barely fit my feet in, not sure how Enigma ever did. Then I found some old shoes of Gigio's to act as replacement shoes. Too bad we could only find one of each pair yesterday when a shoe went missing. So, back to the boots. Someone enigmatic has labeled the boots now on top of it all. What must their teacher think? Anyhow, we are trying to get to the school and now the boots are sopping wet on the inside too. So, one got a pair of Gigio's current shoes, the other got two right feet of their own shoes. Their own shoes spawned another fun story a while back when one of Cariño's friends who has the same kind (transformers, of course) went to put his shoes on and freaked out when there were 6 identical shoes by the door. His shoes had babies!
And in closing, someone asked me why Thing 2 didn't cut his pillow case instead of his pillow here. Let me just demonstrate where the pillow case usually is...
Some people enjoyed the plunger idea so much I thought I would post a few of my other recent techniques. I get a gale of giggles and retreating children by pretending to be the little white bat named Bartok in Anastasia. I'll give you a HA! and a HIYA! with accompanying karate chops. Here's what I do for whining. But mom, I didn't get to yada yada.... gets met with. HELLO! I'm the one who should be whining here! Then totally ham it up: put on your best whiney voice, it is so liberating, and whine away. But kids, you wont get ready for bed and you keep turning on the tv and making messes and eating again instead of making your lunches, and fighting each other, etc. AND, IT'S NOT FAIR! BOO HOO HOOOOOO! AND NO ONE LISTENS TO MEEEEEEE!!! They get the point.

Oh, and the other night I was up too late and the discovery channel droning in the background had some weight loss program on, but the guy started teaching this lady a technique to get control of out of control emotions (which led to overeating in this case, and in insanity in my family's case). So, I tried it. It's crazy but it works. It works with your kids if they are willing to do it, I got all the way to the singing part with obvious results, then it backfired at that point so we leave it out. It's called the tapping technique. Here's a link if you're interested.

I'm going to try to watch the next session of the LDS General Conference, wish me luck because the first session was a bust but what wafted in sounded so good. Quick update on the update. No such luck, this is what happens when I try to watch. I gave up, turned it off, and joined them, since I had to get up somehow. Scaling that is not easy! So for the next month or so I will be listening to one talk at a time of the whole conference here where I can watch in any language. I loved what I managed to hear. Missed our Pres. Hinckley, but love Pres. Monson.

Lastly, as per my current crusades, don't forget the link up right here to donate to team Karen or to join the team walk. Autism awareness posts are out there all month by clicking on the link farther down, and I plan tentatively to do a post every Friday. Relay for Life is coming up in May and it's everywhere, even my podunk town so I plan to join in. Check it out over on Mimi's sidebar. You can run in memory of Juju, and to help so many others like Coleman who are still fighting childhood cancers. Coleman's supporters are also doing random acts of kindness, so why not join in and pay it forward? My kids are keeping silent track of their anonymous goodwill here. I read a lady tell a story about how her grandad taught her that serving others without them knowing who did it was serving God and was what helped us get close to him. He called it Soul Food. So he was her secret accomplice to report to each week till she was old enough he knew she would continue on her own. Isn't that great? We're collecting soul food now.

Very lastly on a true culinary note, I made sushi this week as well as teriyaki chicken. It is so easy and I love it. Half the family doesn't eat fish, so I get to pig out on it myself! Thanks Ellen for the recipe, which reads just like mine do-gotta love it here.

Be Aware of Autism

If you look on my sidebar, you will see a nifty little banner about blogging for autism awareness. This is an event that will go on all this month all over the blogosphere. Click on it and read articles way better than mine. Why should I care? I don't have an autistic child. However, I do know, within about a 4 x4 block area around my home alone, about 8 people who are on the autism spectrum. I know people in other areas of the community , many among friends, and one in the extended family. I see many in the Early education and special ed departments at the schools my children attend. I have interpreted for education on autism and parents of autistic children. It is everywhere.

Did you even know much about autism when you were growing up? Did you know anyone who had it? It was something rarely heard of. I remember seeing a made for TV movie once about a child. That was it. In part the old trend to institutionalize these children may explain some of why that is. Also, today there is so much more information at our disposal. High functioning autistics weren't even recognized as such until later years. Even so, I truly believe that there is a real epidemic going on, and it behooves us to be aware of it and act upon it.

Maybe in part there are more autistic kids because more kids survive than before. That still doesn't explain the numbers today: 1 in 150. Something is going on, and no one yet knows what it is. Is it environmental, nutritional, a fluke of evolution? Is it caused by heredity or vaccinations? There are no definitive answers. Much needs to be done in the way of research.
Another important issue is that many of the therapies that are found to be very beneficial are not covered by most insurances. Just getting a good diagnosis can be very difficult. The biggest shame about this is that the younger it is identified and intervention is put in place, the better the prognosis for the child's development. This is the future of a big chunk of our population. If we don't help them reach their best potential now, to be able to deal with the society they live in, and care for themselves, many who could learn to meet several of these needs will not. We need to figure out better ways to care for their ongoing needs that remain as they grow into adulthood. The future will also be easier for both them and society, if we can take the time to understand them and learn to deal with them positively. They are real human beings. They have a lot to teach us too, if we can just understand them. We need to understand and support the families of these children, who have such great challenges to face. We need to know how to help and then find ways to do it. It pays to insure these children and work on these issues now. We need to push for this in whatever ways we can. It could so easily be your own child. It already is your neighbor.

Here's an interesting little video to start you thinking. Notice the hands running in water segment, because it is eerily similar to the Espinoza Syndrome's method of bringing on a drought, a subject we will have to visit another day...

Karen

Some people just seem to ooze personality. They have come with an amazing set of qualities that destines them to change the lives of those around them for the better. One of those people was Karen. My mom's sister, my aunt. She was young and lived with my grandparents. The air seemed to swirl around her bubbling energy. Whenever the family met at one or the other house on alternating vacations, she dominated my world. She was effervescent, she was enthusiastic. She exclaimed over everything you told her as if you were a genius. She would settle in and make plans with us for all the fun things she wanted to do with us before the vacation was over. She was usually in Arizona and we were usually somewhere else: California, Colorado, Texas, finally Utah. She adored her nieces and nephews, and we adored her. I lived for every word she uttered and shadowed her everywhere.
Once everyone was settled in, the gab sessions would commence. She would tell about people with weird names and even stranger personalities, not making fun of them, but obviously fascinated by their uniqueness. She would tell about the great place she found to buy ceramics or show projects from a craft magazine she liked, or show her latest crochet project. She would tell about a new kind of alternative medicine or the handwriting analysis someone had done on her. She would tell about relatives we'd never met, like her great aunt Irene who would carry a stool around to sit on whenever she got dizzy. She would pull out scrapbooks and show places she'd visited or shows she'd seen. At night, every night, she would write in her journal, and take your suggestions on things to add to the entry. She would flip back and read old things she'd written and talk about the family, about faith, about embarrassing experiences, and listen to everything you'd been waiting for months to tell her about. You could tell her anything, all your thoughts were safe with her. We would talk till we couldn't stay awake any longer. I know my cousins in Arizona could call on her when they were in scrapes. She would help you work things out.
Visiting with Karen was like looking at a kaleidoscope of the universe and all it had to offer. There was food to be eaten and festivals to go to, or sales to rummage through or movies to go to. She was a blast. Visiting her was great, because she had a waterbed and an old fashioned telephone and loads of books. She also collected dolls and hats. All kinds of hats.
I was lucky she usually managed to be in good health when we had our visits. I'm not sure how she pulled that off. The hat collection started out of utility. Karen had lupus. She had to keep her skin out of the sun or her she would break out. She suffered through a lot of illness and flare-ups throughout her life. She got sick soon after getting on the drill team in High School. Soon after, her family relocated to Chile so her Dad could build chapels there. She endured all kinds of treatments there at the hands of some of the leading specialists at the time, but even so, it was a miracle she survived. If the illness didn't kill you, the treatments just might.
Lupus is an auto immune disorder where your immune system attacks your own body. Your joints, organs and connective tissues. It wreaks havoc wherever it chooses to attack. Treatments to suppress the immune system can make the patient vulnerable to all kinds of communicable diseases. People with this disease find themselves sick often, their lives disrupted. Often they find themselves battling for their lives. Karen spent her young adult years, the years typically spent going to college, dating and marrying in hospital beds trying to stay alive. She suffered all kinds of illnesses; icky things like shingles.
The Karen I always knew no longer had functioning knees. They were static, slightly bent, and she had to hobble along with one step longer than the next, leaning from side to side as she walked, to get around. Since I worshiped everything about her, I used to imitate her walk. I was so proud when the grown ups would smile and say I was a little Karen. Karen just said, "I'm flattered you want to be like me, but when you are a teenager, don't be like me. Don't go to the dance and stand in the corner and glare at everyone and then go home and cry and tell your mom, "But I DID smile, mother!" And I listened.
Later, she was offered an operation to replace her knee with an artificial joint. It gave that knee bending capabilities but it never healed completely, she had to bandage and clean the oozing scar for the rest of her life.
I never saw Karen unhappy and rarely saw her upset. She never complained in my presence, but I know from her journals she did ever complain. By the time I was truly aware of her challenges, she had come to a good spot and was a powerhouse of wisdom. She had learned a thing or two. She didn't resent what she was going through or how much the disease limited her life. She would say things like- It's alright, we all have to go through things... but when I die, I will ask WHY? And when we are resurrected someday, then we will go mountain climbing together. She was patient. Very patient.
She was open minded and willing to learn new things or look at things in a different way. She had the best sense of humor and didn't mind laughing at herself either. Some of her funniest stories were about herself. Of all the qualities I think of though, what most stands out is her love. She truly loved people. She was very open about what people were like, but very accepting of them with all their warts. There was no criticism or gossiping. She would take a chance on anyone, and was always willing to help anyone in need. She worked hard to help our extended family stay close together and organize fun activities for us to do. I have so many memories of doing things with Karen. I remember going to opening of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom with her. We sat on the front row and as I sat cross-legged, she grabbed my big toe and just about cut off my circulation when the big rock ball almost ran over Indiana.
The only thing I regret is not having more memories of Karen. The disease that helped purify her spirit took her body when she was only 40 years old. Her funeral was amazing. There were people overflowing out of the overflow rooms of the chapel. She had touched so many lives. Even the UPS man came and raved to my grandparents about how wonderful and kind she had been to him. I miss Karen. I miss her not being there to share with my family now, to know my husband and children. She would have enjoyed them just as much as I do. I would love to talk with her about the things I wonder about at my age. I would love to walk with her to raise awareness and funds to fight for a cure for lupus. But none of that will happen, because she's gone. So, instead, in her honor I'll walk without her and try to help others who are fighting this disease have a longer, better quality life. Someone else's aunt will be there to walk with her and love her children and be her friend. That's my idea anyway. Now all I need are a bunch of sponsors. And some walking companions. Anybody with me?
You can make a donation with this link or add a page where you can raise funds. Blog about it, talk about it, make people aware so they can help too. Want to do a walk? If you want to join my team, it is called Karen. See the walk 4 Lupus link on the Check it out section of my sidebar.

Comfort and Joy

At Thanksgiving time in 2000, my cousin and his wife were killed in a highway accident, leaving behind 5 children. It was a very hard time for all the family and friends, and has certainly not been an easy road for those left behind but I think we would all agree that everyone has been given comfort, guidance, assistance and joy according to their needs. Many miracles have taken place since that day. Many, many people have reached out in kindness. God continues to strengthened and bless us all. That Christmas, right in the middle of all the grief, for the first time in my life I felt the spirit of comfort and joy, so much more joy and rejoicing in my heart than ever before for a Savior who was willing to come under such humble circumstances to give us hope and peace.

If you look over to the right at the sidebar, there is information on Julian, the 4 year old with brain cancer. A fast has been organized for Wednesday for those who would like to join together and fast and pray for him and his family. If you medically should not fast, but would like to join in, you could do another kind of fast such as a media fast (avoid all forms of media for a day). I will be fasting and praying for Julian to have the health to enjoy the holidays, that his grandma can make it from France to be with them too, that his family and friends will feel God's arms around them and feel that same peace, comfort, and joy this season that He gave me, as well as help in the times to come. And lastly, if He sees fit, for Him to cure Ju Ju and let him stay with his family (never hurts to ask, especially if hundreds of people are nagging Him at the same time.)I know that whenever I fast for a purpose, the inspiration and spiritual blessings just flow, and the more people joining in, the better. If you fast and pay attention to the feelings and thoughts that come into your mind and heart, you will be amazed. If you write them down, you just may remember them. I hope you read this in time to join in or to tag on later. May we all feel comfort and joy this season.