Thing 2 isms

He's a barrel of laughs but I too often forget the great things he says. Here's just two I haven't forgotten yet.

I came home from a day at the church doing a clothing exchange. Enigma was making a blanket and the boys had been given free reign. There was stuff everywhere. It looked like a tornado hit the house. "What happened here?" I asked. "A struggle?" Thing 2 answered. Enigma and I laughed, "Yeah, that's what it looks like, alright!" Then thing 2 asked, "What's a struggle anyways?"

We were watching a DVD and there was a preview for the movie 2012. Enigma mentioned that if the world really did end in 2012 she would only be 21. And what a pathetic life, she added. Then she turned to Thing 2, "You would be, hmm."
"What?" he asked. If the world ended in 2012, you would be what?"
"Dead!" He answered.

The First Day of School

Papi (to Thing 1): Hey, how was your first day of school?
Thing 1 (while running off to play): Why don't you just guess!?

I guess it was good. Everyone seems really happy with their teachers and classes.
The first day when I woke up Carino, he shot out of bed and raced up the stairs like a bullet. By the time I plodded up there, he was already dressed. Just a wee bit excited, I'd say. Too bad he won't do that all year. He already started acting more normal this morning.

Sorry to take so long to update, but I've been trying to get my pictures to work on my computer and they don't want to. Also, I have two refugee dogs in my backyard, and obviously all the back to school stuff has been going on and I've been babysitting kids, working, and trying to get my boy Gigio ready for a scout review or some such thing. I'm also attacking the mess bit by too little bit and trying to help a few people work their way through a few ugly situations. In other words, life is crazy. Stay tuned. More to come someday.

Ogre Days

Just a quickie. Yesterday I was at a baptism and afterward one of the girls there was telling her mom that I am her Achievement Days leader. Except this was in Spanish, so it's called "Dias de logros". However she pronounced it Dia del Ogro. Made me smile. "Dia del ogro" literally translates day of the ogre. That could get those rumors about Mormons having horns started again, eh? If you're not Mormon, you might want to look up Achievement Days in all caps in my handy dandy Big Fat Mormon Terminology Guide there on the sidebar. While you're at it look up Ward Clerks and Relief Society and Primary in all caps also so you don't have to go back in a week or so and look those up too. That's when the next joke should be over and I can talk about it.

The Love Triangle-Kindergarten Style

The story begins about 3 weeks ago when, as we got out of the car after coming home from school, Thing 1 conspiratorially told me, "Mom, I love Alyssa." Ah, puppy love. How cute! Later that evening, he was telling me he had a hard day, that Nicholas pushed him down when he got up from nap time and he was chasing him around saying, "Why did you kiss her?"
-Um. Wait, back up. Did you kiss somebody?
-Yeah, (sheepishly) Alyssa.
-Oh.
-Thing 2 kissed him too! (We still don't get pronouns, Alyssa IS a girl.)
-He did?
(Thing 2 chimes in)- Yeah, I kissed him.
-Really? So you both kissed her? (They nod) Today? Where did you kiss her?
Thing 2- On the lips!
-(Good grief!) No, I meant on the playground or where?
- (Rolling eyes) No, mom, you kiss girls at nap time. (Mom's eyes bulge)
-Do you kiss all the girls at nap time every day?
- No, just Alyssa. Three times!
-(I turn to Thing 1) did you kiss her three times?
- No, just one time, on the cheek. (Thank goodness someone has scruples)
-And you're both okay with your brother kissing the same girl you kissed?
(both)- Uh-huh.
-But then Brandon was chasing Thing 2 and telling him to break up with Alyssa, so we have to break up with him. (This is Thing 1 talking, obviously very distressed that his brother is being chased around.)
-I see. Do you know what it means to break up with someone?
-No. (Both shake their heads no.)
-OK, here's the deal. For now, if you kiss girls, the other kids are going to bug you. I think for now it would be safer to just save all your kisses for your mommy. Save them all for me, ok?
But you can still be friends with Alyssa. Don't let anyone tell you who to be friends with.
-OK. (in unison.)

Later, Enigma finds out what happened. She says to Thing 2, "What about Ari, (previous puppy love around the block-Enigma is set on them getting married.) Don't you like Ari?"
-Yes.
-Did you kiss Ari? (Thing 2 just grins).

The next day, there is talk of Thing 2 holding hands with Alyssa.
Thing 1 is grumpily mumbling in the background, "She's my friend too!"
Next day, Thing 2 is all about playing with Ari.

Fast forward to this week. The Things have a birthday. Their class makes them pictures. Alyssa made Thing 1 this picture. See the hearts? Thing 2's didn't have hearts. Enigma read much into all that.

Thing 1 made a picture for Thing 2. He told Enigma that he is the one in the red shirt. Thing 2 is in the blue shirt and the figure between them in the back is Alyssa. See the triangle? Will she come between the dynamic duo?

Not to worry, because Thing 2 informed me that Aisha is smart, and will you take a look at the picture she made him? She's holding his hand! This is getting as hard to follow as a soap. It would be fun to scan half the pictures. Kindergarteners draw hilarious things. Also, Thing 2's first picture in his book said "You are kind." Wow! Someone thought he was kind! I was all excited. Then I looked down at the bottom and it said, from Thing 2. Well, it's a start.

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Mom, What's Irony?

Gigio asked me one day.
-Well, irony is ... hmmm.... how could I define it, it's when something is... gee, this is kind of hard to put into words. It 's like when something is in direct opposition to what you would expect and usually this is annoying, but sort of funny. Which doesn't really explain it at all.
-(Gigio is still looking at me expectantly, hoping for a better explanation, something he can use to understand this word he just unearthed.)
-How about if I give you an example of irony? That would be easier:
Your sister wasted my money on a nice new suit and went and got third place in the state FCCLA competition for doing the best at applying and interviewing for a job in the preschool field. Everyone thought she was awesome. Great look, great presentation, great at answering questions, great portfolio. She has a beautiful bronze medal to show for it. But, she has been unemployed for about 7 months now and has maybe looked for 10 jobs in that time, optimistically, and has never worn the suit to a real interview yet and has no job to show for it yet. That is ironic.
-A light bulb appears above Gigio's head and he laughs as he goes off to tell his brother and friend, "Guys, irony is like this....."

Gotta make the most of those teaching moments.
And after much nagging, (and refusing to pay more cell phone bills), Enigma just may be wearing that suit to a real interview soon. Cross your fingers!

Won't You Be My Valentine?

A few days before Valentines, Gigio asked me why people don't answer when you ask them to be your Valentine. Hypothetically. Except it sounded pretty specific.
Well, maybe a lot of people think of it as a rhetorical question and figure they don't need to answer, right? That it is just a Valentines gesture like saying "How are you?" on a normal day and then skipping right over that and talking about something else.
Except another girl told another boy NO when he asked. (Poor boy).
In any case, the hypothetically specific girl not answering was tormenting his soul.
Meanwhile, Carino's list of students in his class for Valentines preparation had a circle around the name Ivana. Interesting...
Friday the 13th was hijacked by Valentine's Day at schools all over the country. The Jr. High students made a special hot lunch of ravioli for the occasion, so the boys begged to have hot lunch that day and I conceded.
I went that afternoon to pick them up. Gigio was bouncing off the walls. Guess what? SHE SAID YES! If she had've told him sooner, he would have gotten her a pink rose (that stands for crush, because, yes, he confirmed, he had a crush on Sophia. White is friends, and red is love. Also, Emma got 2 pink roses and a red rose and a white rose. -Is she hot?- No, but she's tall and talks a lot and she's the one who used to pick him up in Kindergarten.) Not only that, but the ravioli was so delicious, he ate it all and any he could get off of anyone else and would I please make some at home, because it is soooo good! (Following this, we all get detailed instructions on how to make ravioli.) Oh, and he lost his seat today after being too wild and leaning it back too many times. Because the ravioli made him excited.
Could it be that the prospect of the imminent Valentines party and all the sweets had anything to do with his hyperactivity?
Well, not really. Except the fact that" she said yes" could have made him hyper too. After all, he was smiling all the time after he got that note. So, yeah, the girl had anything to do with it. But, it was mostly the ravioli, he declared. Girls are great, but RAVIOLI? True. Love. (Men!)
Later that day, as Carino went through all his loot, he came running to show me a handmade Valentine by Ivana. It said I heart U! Euphoria reigned on Valentine's Day at our house.

P.S. Someday soon, I might finish getting my taxes ready and the props for the fourth grade program, and I did get an internet connection in a more central location in my home, so I just might join the blogging community again in the near future. Hope to read ya soon!

Snacks, Anyone?

I wish I could ever catch Thing 2 on film talking the way he normally does. He says the most random things sometimes and the tone of voice makes it even funnier. Often, he sounds a bit like Ercle on Family Matters. But he will say things in this funny happy voice that doesn't really seem to fit what he's saying. Here's hoping that someday I'll be able to catch him on film so I can preserve that little boy he all too soon won't be anymore.

In the meantime, I'll just have to write. A few weeks ago as I was getting the twins to bed, Thing 2 says out of the blue, in that indescribable voice of his, "When I drink soda, I barf in my mouth after. Then I swallow it. It's the best snack!"

Should I try to find a better snack for him? Or just let it be?

A Parenting Photo Story Friday

Hosted by Cecily and MamaGeek

So, this blog is turning into a Friday thing. But, I insist on letting real life intervene. It just seems so hectic lately, I barely have a moment to catch my breath. So when I decide to blog once everyone is asleep I end up checking on my buddies first because I'm severely behind on that. And then I don't write because I need to get to bed instead. Also, I think the point of laptops is that they're supposed to be portable, but when the top is making a break for it, and is only hanging on by a bundle of wire, it stops being portable. Also, it is a bit scary when keys keep breaking off and little screws shoot out at you. Soon I will have to have the whole keyboard memorized or I will be lost. It's just a bit annoying that sometimes you have to hit a key twice before it takes as well. Those are all my excuses for today.

The point of this post is really this: Occasionally, being a parent is not so rewarding. I mean, if you need a lot of positive feedback, it is not the best profession for you. If you want some peace and quiet it is not advisable. If you want some peace of mind, or you second guess yourself a lot, it may not be the ideal endeavor either. If you are easily grossed out, it is not going to be your cup of tea at all. If you like your laptop intact, you guessed it, not a direct path to that end either. Not only that, but often your children will be ungrateful, disrespectful, and impolite. But, I'm looking at the positive. At least I didn't get told I was "hairy, especially your butt" like another parent in my house got told this week. I've been told some equally frank things, however. And when you are a parent, your kids wear you out. Literally, and figuratively. And then, after almost eighteen years of agony, you walk out the door and see this:(I didn't teach 'em to spell) And you smile. And it's all worth it. Despite the fact that you know they're probably just buttering you up for Christmas. Or possibly it wasn't your offspring at all, but some neighbor who felt sorry for you. Because maybe, just maybe you really are awesome and your child might know it even more than you do.

The End.

The Only Child

After living in my current state for too many years, I finally had a chance to leave, and let me just say this. I am SOOO over Utah! What a frozen tundra of a desert state. What am I doing here when verdant temperate California awaits me? It's dangerous, really dangerous to let me out into the real world again. I controlled myself and came home. Even more dangerous is leaving the state without 6 other people in tow. Whom I love dearly, but...

Carino wrote this paper at school last month:

Being the only child.

I wont to be the only child. But I have 4 brothers and one sister. If I was the only child I could get whatever I wont.

It is so cool being the only child.

I bet it is awsome.

I like being the only child.

This made me chuckle. Not sure who the 4th brother is, either.

After spending the weekend alone with him, I could write my own little theme:

Having Carino for an Only Child

I want to have Carino for my only child.

But I have 1 daughter and 4 sons. If Carino were the only child, I could do whatever I want, most of the time. I could control my own destiny, probably.

It would be so cool if he were the only child, because if he were, I would think I was a stellar parent. I would have time to dote on him and listen to him, to play with him. I could sign him up for lots of sports and still have time to make dinner. I would almost never have to scream.

He would tell me how much he loves me 5 times a day, and almost never ever get mad or show his obnoxious side without siblings around to provoke him. He would open doors for me and offer to carry things for me. He would say please and "Thank you for doing so many neat things for me, mom!" and act like a totally awesome little boy. He would pay more attention to me and almost always do what I say. He would go to sleep within 5 minutes of getting in bed.

I bet it is awesome to have free time every evening and still get to bed on time.

I love having Carino for the only child.

But, alas, I'd miss the other 4 hellions. To make a long story short, we made it to the conference. It was sort of like a presidential debate, actually because there are two schools of thought out there in the medical community with regards to the best ear reconstruction methods. We met lots of little kids with similar faces and their parents, meeting similar challenges. It was pretty fun. We met another Utah family. In California. Of course. There is no escaping Utah. They were nice people though so I was glad not to escape. We had a CT scan and appointments with 5 doctors. Now we have a lot of homework to do. It was good they saw Carino, because they had second and third opinions, and brought up more complications. We did get some answers. We still don't know exactly what we'll do, but at least we have lots of info and things to look into to decide. It could be a full time job. Too bad I'll need another full time job to pay for all the treatments he needs. I thought going back to Utah would be so depressing, but at the airport, we went to use the restroom and found a Family Restroom, big enough to fit the whole Duggar family in it! Some things about Utah are so fun! Then we got on a shuttle bus to go to the parking lot. It was crammed full. A lady offered us the last seat. Carino sat down next to her. When she got up to leave, she patted his hands and jumped off the bus. When I looked down at Carino again, he was holding a Ziploc bag full of coins, an amazed look on his face. Who was that masked lady? God bless her wherever she is, she made our day! Gnight, all!

Random Updates

September 11 is the new Friday the 13th

Really. I know this is a week and a half later, but, I was too busy Sept 11, 2008 to write a nice memorial or anything. Enigma decided to take the twins with her to go visit the grandparents and have grandma make a dress for her. Except her radiator broke on the freeway. Steam was coming out from under the hood as well as liquid. Papi was in class, I was helping Gigio and Carino was somewhere in the neighborhood playing. I called Grandpa to go get her. He can't work around cars much, but they got it to his house. Later I went out with the other boys to get them and after getting fed and getting parts and reaching Papi we decided it was safer to leave her car there till he could get it. We went out that Sunday and ran it to the shop. After fixing the radiator and the brakes, and it still needs some new gaskets. We're working on that.

News flashes!

1. Honor the heroes of Flight 93-they are trying to build a memorial for them. Burgh Baby is helping by giving the proceeds from her blog all month to the memorial fund. The more posts you click on, the more she earns. And, her posts are pretty good! She has a delightful toddler, a fish tank of horrors, and an obsession with scary dolls.
Check it out!
2. September is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month. Eat at Chili's this Monday the 29th because they're donating the earnings to research. Here's a link to some moving pictures. Go to Chili's for Family Night!

Why is Shellie so lazy???

I've been lying around just helping people write book reports on various and sundry books and trying to read more books to the kids before they go back to the library. Then I've had to read up on things like Equity Skimming, because there's always a new way to break the law and I'd better know how to say it in Spanish! Plus, I've joined two craniofacial yahoo groups. And the one group didn't have much of anything going on at all when Carino was a baby and I looked them up, but now they went and had reunions at Salt Lake City and Tucson without telling me! Grrrr! Now they're just off in places like South Carolina...And Papi saw a guy at the last BYU game who obviously had the same condition and had a replacement ear, but did he get nosy and ask him anything?? NOOOO!! Enigma met a lady at work once and asked her questions but I want to know how I can reach them and pick their brains!! So, in the groups I am mostly just finding out how incredibly lucky we are that things aren't worse. We could be dealing with artificial eyes, too that you can pop out on the playground at school. I can just see Carino playing ball with one of those... Anyhow, I'm getting some info but I can never get enough apparently. We may never decide what to do...Then I have also had to help research and force, I mean encourage people to do their homework on iambic pentameters and Canterbury Tales and landscape artists and the great unknown explorer Giovanni da Verrazzano. Plus I am reading the New Testament to one kid, the Old Testament to the others, the Book of Mormon to myself and my head is going to explode! Then in my spare time, I have been hunting down old paintings for a church thing on Saturday, sticking up for dyslexics at school (I really don't think people with borderline personality disorder should be teaching our children, do you? It makes for good after school stories though.). I've also been trying to clean up the pool and doing mega experiments in the kitchen, scanning family pictures and fighting the scanner so I can make our family yearbook, going in to help with various classes at school, working, trying to force myself to work on the phone instead of taking naps, and trying to get through the loads of laundry. Among other things. There were a lot of tryings in there, did you notice? That doesn't even touch on the thinking abouts, like thinking about exercising, or thinking that this indigestion could be a heart attack and maybe it's too late to exercise, or thinking that wouldn't it be nice if now that the whole economy is in the toilet, we could redo our whole crazy society and finally do our energy different and stop being willy nilly excessive consumers and instead invest what's left of our wealth on things like education and feeding the hungry instead of on movies and bedsheets in the 3-4 digit category. Just boring stuff like that. Enough about me, except I am NOT the one smoking weed. Noooo! I am not. I may seem like it, but it's all natural. Except it probably isn't helping that I'm getting second-hand smoke from over the fence. And apparently it is permeating the car upholstery and so now we all smell like a bunch of pot-heads on occasion. And a prosecutor doesn't like my perfume.

Papi Came Up for Air

He's having the dizziness again. Know why? He didn't have time to sauna. Do you know what this means? We NEED a sauna!!! WHoopee!! (What was that garbage about consumerism?) Just kidding. We will live without the sauna. For now. Then we went to our dear old friend Marianela's for a eat till you bust 18 de Septiembre celebration (that's Chilean independence day, you know.

Metaphysics

Sunday was interesting. Gigio has been having problems with a classmate at church who has some developmental challenges. He kicked Gigio in the shin and then Gigio escaped out the window. While I was discussing the issue with him, and he was complaining about how this kid pesters him and accosts him and all, I made the observation- maybe this is happening for a reason, because you know? This guy sounds like he treats you the same way you treat your brothers. And do you know what he said?- Mom, I don't believe in Karma! (sigh!)

The Things are Still 6!

Yes, we go through this every single day. For the love of Pete, will April 21 just get here??? They are so obsessed with their next birthday, they can hardly focus on much else. By the time it comes, I will be the one wanting to throw a party! But, all things considered, Kindergarten is going great and they are starting to fall into a routine and Thing 2 has decided he loves RULES! There are rules for school and for home and for church and for the car and for the bathroom. He wants them posted. AND apparently, it's more important that everyone else follow them. Plus, God has rules, too! Leaving a trail of cereal to the utensils drawer like some warped version of Hansel and Gretel is against God's rules. Did you know that? Because it spells Sad. He also wants a turkey for a pet (Thing 2 that is, not God-that I know of). Somehow, he decided that he wanted to hatch an egg. So he took it out into the sun. I guess he didn't want to sit on it. I made him bring it back. I explained that without the help of a rooster, that egg would never be a chicken. Then he asked if we could have a hen and a rooster. No, I vetoed that one. Next he started asking for a turkey...

Green Eggs and Ham

Meanwhile, Thing 1 is so mad at me. I made him eat a bite of that violently disgusting casserole before he could eat something else instead and he was so indignant, he was in tears. "Don't make me eat that again!" he said. I watched out of the corner of my eye while he ate the rest of it because, secretly? It was good! Shhhhh!

Shades of High School

Back in the day, our school had a policy that if anyone smoked in the bathroom, it got locked up for a week. Every single time they opened a bathroom, it was closed again by the end of the day. Now, the food police has decided to crack down on illegal food at the computer. Everytime any food is found in the food-free-zone, the computer gets unplugged for a day. Then 2, now 3. You'd think they'd catch on after a while, wouldn't you?

If Enigma Would Just Come Home, Her Parents Could Go to Bed

It never ends. Once you have kids you will never sleep again. She is celebrating a homecoming win with friends and tomorrow is the dance. Life is fun, and there are so many interesting things to do when you're 17, except that you are bored and your life is in the toilet every other second, so you want to die. Catering is a fun class, but we will discuss it another day because, yipeee!!! She's home! G'night, y'all!

The Super Amazing Toothbrushing Thing

What will they think up next? It brings a tear to my eye that the boy who hated brushing is now inventing new ways to brush. All thanks to watermelon toothpaste, may they never stop making it!

Today's Special

And now I present Thing 1's latest favorite: "Strangled Eggs".

Now that the Things are eating at school, they have very specific requests for lunch, including the "strangled egg sandwich". Can't say as I blame them for trying to direct my lunch making. The first day of school I made them sandwiches with lunch meat, not cheese! Plus, I cut some oranges into quarters and stuck them in a baggie. They looked different on the inside, almost a red color. I wondered if I got blood oranges at the store without noticing. The kids came back home without eating them. I tried one. It was a grapefruit! I felt pretty dense. However, they were the size of an orange, and the skins were orange, not yellow. How was I to know? So, now that I have established myself as a flunkie lunchmaker, let me tell you another do not. Do not pack ethnic foods like empanadas or greek food wrapped in grape leaves, your kids will chew you out because their friends laughed at their food.

I can tell you a good thing to pack. Take a tortilla, spread it with mayo and some thin sliced ham and corn, roll it up and cut it in pinwheels. Send them in ziplock bags. The kids liked that one, and you can fill it with just about any other combination imaginable. Once my kids are in second grade, I have them pack their own lunch so they will stop complaining about my dumb food and I can start chewing them out about theirs. A baggie stuffed to the brim with chocolate chips does not a lunch make! This is why you check their lunch bag before they go.

Seriously, my biggest problem is competing against the school cafeteria. They feed them really yummy food, not the toxic stuff we were served as kids. A certain child of mine tries every year to eat school lunch when he shouldn't and racks up a bill. I can't afford to pay for school lunch every day, and I know that they won't eat half of it anyways, but I am trying to come up with food that can win the war against the lunch lady. Any suggestions? Please? What's your favorite bag lunch food? And while we're at it, on the go breakfast ideas would be great, too. If you comment or e-mail me any suggestions, I'll make a post for everyone!



Hosted by Cecily and MamaGeek

Little But Loud

Well, Internet explorer is still good for something after all!

This is just a sampling-wish there was a way to catch those

crazier moments when everyone's on their own track at once!

Random Update- As Wild and Wooly as Ever

This will meander, just warning! What's up at our house? The pool is up! I'm having filter issues. The kids are all delightfully sun-kissed to sun burned and turning browner by the minute. That pool may be a pain, but it is the best TV killer around. I wish I could say I spend as much time in my garden, but I can't. I love, love, love, love, LOVE SUMMER! Big time. No getting kids up, the SUN, the blue skies, kids playing, barbecuing, watermelon, the garden, swimming, etc. So I have a million things I wanna do while I am free from the school grind. Unfortunately, too many of these things happen inside and don't involve fun summer stuff. I waste a lot of time, too. Unfortunately, it will all end too soon. I mourn the end of summer. But for now, I have more energy and I get busy. So, I totally blow off the computer half the time. I guess I'm a foul-weather blogger. Don't worry, the foul weather will be back.
In the meantime, It's a 3 ring circus and half the neighborhood seems to be over most of the time. All the kids have managed to scrape or bruise or cut themselves or get stung by wasps and all. Thing 1 was so funny, he came in yesterday with his mad face: red face, tear-filled eyes, on the verge of an explosion. He says something through gritted teeth. I couldn't figure out what it was. I assumed he was probably mad at Gigio. He repeats. This time I understand him: That. BEE. STUNG. me! AHA! So that's it! I took care of his wound but he was so incensed that this, as it turned out to be, wasp had the nerve to sting him! He was just trying to get it off the grill (which Thing 2 called a girl, and Thing 1 just called "the thing Papi cooks on"). He wanted me to go spray it to death. What a vengeful soul.
I am so scattered that I haven't even tried to remember all the fun things those boys have said and done. I used to not write them down because I thought I would always remember with kid 1. By kid 2 I knew better, but by kid 3, who had time? Now with kid 5 I know I'll be lucky if I remember 2 hours later. Makes for a shorter update (heave a big sigh of relief). I do remember sitting with Thing 2 in Primary at church while he waited for the teacher to come, and the music director decided to get the kids to do a song to get out the wiggles. It goes something like "I wiggle my fingers, I wiggle my toes, I wiggle my shoulders, I wiggle my nose" I look at Thing 2 and he is wiggling his nose all right, he has his finger up his nose and is wiggling it from side to side . He gives me his impy grin and says "I'm wiggling my nose!" o.k....
Then Thing 2 asked me to sing (WHOOOPEEEE!! The other exciting thing, they don't scream and tell me to turn off the music anymore. BUT, that's another story) a song called "I Love to See the Temple" Then Thing 1 asked, "The temple the house of Jesus?" Yes, I said. Then he said, "The Church too?" Yes, he knows this. I'm always telling him not to stick his feet up on Jesus' benches and run and yell in there because it's His house. "Oh, He have lots of houses!" You could just see the wheels turning in his head-Jesus is pretty loaded!
Carino, finally, after much procrastination is in a breakdance/tumbling class. He loves it. The teacher was impressed and had the gymnastics teacher look at what he can do. They were amazed. I don't know how much he will remember from one class to the next, but he is excited. Enigma is taking a class too. Gigio wants to do Karate. Mom wants a bigger bank account. I have created a monster. I told the boys I would teach them how to argue. Gigio took me up on it. Someday he is going to take over the world. Poor Carino.... Except the whole idea behind this is that they will learn to argue instead of physically fight, which is good for your health. So, this is his new bedtime story, and he asks me for it each night.
Gigio and Carino got to go to the Utah version of an amusement park with their uncle, who emerged from the woodwork. He's Papi's brother and he can disappear for years at a time. Seems to be doing good, he's back together with his ex for those of you who know him. He helped Papi with the living room floor, then took the boys to Salt Lake, then came to barbecue on Father's Day. 3 days in one week! Hopefully he won't disappear for 3 years. Papi passed his Spring term classes and is in Summer term now. He's working too much but sometimes he still manages to play with me.
Enigma is liking her job except she gets hardly no hours but that leaves her lots of time to babysit for me and she's squeezed in a lot of fun on the side. Now she's on a trip with the grandparents to Idaho to go see her cousin who just got home from Armenia, where she was a missionary. Coming home is so hard. Someone ought to start rehab for it :) But, that's a whole long discussion in and of itself. Enigma also did 2 other fun things. She got her Senior pictures taken. They take about 35 shots, in 4-5 different outfits. She loved it. The cameraman asked her if she models. They might use some of her shots in their ads. I guess she just found something else she likes to do but probably will never do again. We just got to see the pictures yesterday and have the originals we are keeping. Once I get my wallets, I let you peek in my wallet. So the other exciting thing she did was she got her patriarchal blessing, which was so sweet. I went with her and it was one of those moments where you find you turned into your mom. But, happily, I'm still myself. I've decided that I need to make a MormonSpeak Guide or something on my sidebar so all the religious terminology won't leave anyone in the dust. Add it to my list...
So, Utah is one of the few states where you see Highway Billboards with Hotline Info to get out of Polygamy, but I didn't take my camera out before it was replaced with something else. Sorry. Maybe there's one in Texas? I did get a shot of this before my 2nd child destroyed MY camera.


My only question is, if it's for sale, is it HALF off?
So I was reading this article about sheets, brought to my attention by the Suburban Correspondent (go visit her and underwhelm her with my huge amount of traffic, ha, ha. Ask her where's the sheets post and tell her I sent ya hee, hee). Basically it's all about the crazy inconsistencies about thread count and Egyptian cotton and all. You've probably noticed that 150 thread count feels like sandpaper and 400 count feels right nice. Personally, if it looks kinda silky, or if it's made out of t-shirt material, or flannel, AND it's on sale for super cheap, I am so IN. But, the article mentions sheets that cost up to $2000! Isn't that obscene? It makes me sick thinking of all the people in the world who could eat for a year off that amount of moolah. Then I discover that someone has decided to write on my nicest sheets with a permanent marker. Hooray. Someone is so lucky that I was thinking how nice that my sheets weren't so expensive. Those guys who buy $2000 sheets? I think it would be a little bit funny if someone did a graffiti number on them.
Since I'm spending hardly any time on the computer, I joined another blog, called Diet Divas. It's about eating healthy and losing weight and all that kind of stuff. So my little buddy Merrianne wanted help losing some weight before her birthday in a month. I offered to make it into a competition and see who could lose the most weight each week. It worked, she's losing weight! I have discovered that my only proven method of weight loss so far is to have the baby. I know of no other method. So, I'll lose this week (the competition, not the pounds). Maybe by the last week though...I must say I have a new found respect for people who really work at this, it is not easy; I've been all over the place just trying to find a scale to weigh myself and NOBODY has one. Seems they're all bought up. I'm getting lots of exercise running up and down the aisle of every joint in town. AND, watch out, Merrianne, my neighbor lent me a Zumba DVD set. I might actually DO this stuff. So, real quick like I looked up some info from a book I read ages ago about the Sonoma Diet. It seemed like a pretty healthy one, if I could just follow it. It will probably take me half a lifetime to learn to not just stick stuff in my mouth everywhere I go. Before this week, I never realized how much I munch.
The kids are munching on fake fluffy sugary stuff because the pinatas are no longer a myth! After the project dominating the kitchen table for weeks, I finally finished them and everyone had at it. At least I get a lot of exercise picking up candy wrappers off the floor now.
Plus, with the pool, I now have an outdoor room to clean up, and there are more wet items than there are grains of sand running through my washer every day. Oh, and you know what I did? I made homemade laundry detergent. It is working really good and has saved a lot of money. I got the recipe from Anne.
On another note, either I'm losing my mind or things are disappearing more than usual lately. Plus, things seem to come off and on of their own accord. One of the latest disappearing items is the cordless phone. Of course it wasn't the extension downstairs that was so old, it sounds like you are getting a transmission from outer space and the caller ID is all screwed up. It was the one that works fine that walked off the planet. So I sent my super shopper out to find me a new one and we ended up with a set of 4 phones! One of them is waterproof. That may sound crazy, but I think we have lost somewhere in the area of 6 phones or so to submersion experiments. It looks almost indestructible. It should last a few months or so.
Anybody seeing a theme here? How many broken or mutilated items have I mentioned in this post? But, we're having fun!

A Photo Tour of Recent Weeks

If the one you leave in charge does this to her wall:You can only expect the youngest to do this:
Why are my kids not all gouged with swiss cheese like this pile of their clothes? And why do they insist on taking the ribbing off their sweatshirts? I shouldn't complain, once I went to pick up Enigma from her class after church when she was about 6, and she had undone the seam all the way down her arm and sides, the top was only still on because she had a ribbed collar at the top.
Follow the yellow cracker road... What is it with this child? He's always leaving trails like this. Notice that someday I might have a real floor. Part of the tile is down.
We are on our third splint since Memorial Day. I guess the real mystery is why isn't this boy breaking his bones every other day?
Stonehenge is a mystery and so is this. The garbled explanation had something to do with trying to keep water in. Maybe they were trying to build their own swimming pool? I'd set up the pool if we ever had weather to inspire it.
Lastly, things a singleton can't do with himself. This also explains the condition of their clothes a little better and why I rarely buy them anything that isn't from a second hand shop.

Random Update

When we last left our heroine, she was picking up the pieces of her trampoline. Monday she thought she knew what she was going to do, but her husband had decided to rip up all the floors in the main living area of the house and she was obliged to participate in this dusty, scratchy, blistering, sticky task instead of paying the bills and working in the garden. Nothing important... Actually, the heroine paid the bills instead of going to bed and then felt like blogging. I'm not sure what is wrong with her. Now we are left wondering how long it will be before the new floor goes down. Will the sticky floors get covered in kids' crumbs and stop sticking to everyone's feet first? Stay tuned...

Is anyone else perturbed by the name of these stickers? Who is running this sticker company anyways, a bunch of 10 year olds? WAY retro? Buddy, you don't understand the meaning of the word...

I'm so sorry that food prices are going up and that Costco is rationing it's rice and all. It's just because someone found out I recently started replacing my depleted food storage. Really, I'm sorry I did that to you. I have a program that calculates how much you need to store of different items if you want a supply for 3 months or a year or whatever. Supposedly, 12 containers of dental floss will last a year. They didn't calculate in other variables like this: ( I don't think you can see it, but the floss goes all over and makes it difficult to open the toilet lid on it's way to the bathtub and back over to the door.)

Next we move on to Enigma and the Prom tale. First, she was invited to prom by a cute boy, with curly hair, and a curly past, and even though it wasn't potential boy, who was not really dating her but they were not exactly not an item, he would be a fun person to accompany to the dance. Then Enigma dragged me with all 4 boys, MY boys that is, in to a tailor to get her dress fixed for this dance(the one that we safety pinned in place after ringing it up on her body 10 minutes before going to homecoming). Next, a few weeks later, it turns out that cute boy can't go after all, his parents are dragging him out of town. Meanwhile, potential boy, who was going to be out of town with his parents, ended up not having to be out of town, so a friend of Enigma's went to work on him to convince him to have the guts to ask you know who to Prom. Long story short, he didn't have the guts. He did have the guts for something else, but I will leave that story to Enigma. In any case, it turned out to not be a bad thing because Enigma got sick and spent the whole freaking weekend with Mr. Tidy bowl instead. SO, the potential boy story has had so many twists and turns, no one can keep track of it but at this second, he is toast because he's jealous of old flame who wants to be new flame. * Sorry, it took more than a second to post, so now everything's cool again. For the moment. Oh, and Enigma got a new job at a clothing store. She has even thanked me for all the millions of clothes I have folded over the years. She loves the people and the ambience there so far. Oh, and Enigma also tried out for cheerleader at the last minute and even though she's never done tumbling in her life, (because she wanted to quit gymnastics after 1 1/2 months of the lessons that she bugged me for when she was 6 and I was so mean, I made her finish the second month I already paid for before she could quit), and even though she was up against all the girls that have been cheerleaders on the younger teams all through the years and mega gymnasts from all grades and all she could be on was Varsity since she's a senior next year, she made alternate, which means that she did an excellent job and proved to herself she could do it. The nice part about this is mom doesn't have to dish out any money for it and Enigma doesn't have to get up and go to practices at 6 am all summer. The bummer is, mom had to spend an hour or so helping her see the good side of this, and she does miss out on a lot of fun. Unless somebody quits. So, she's still planning on going to beauty school but is starting to think that maybe it would be a good idea to finish all her high school classes first and save some money and grow up some more and not be the youngest one there and be a top dog senior at high school instead. This means she can't flee the state the minute she graduates, but free room and board while going to beauty school is starting to look good enough that she's ok with that. Enigma had her MRI, and she didn't freak out. The drugs must be good because she actually liked it. Imagine that. Turns out, her pituitary gland is overgrown so they are going to keep an eye on that.

On to the next kid...Carino had his birthday. At home we celebrated by ripping up the floor. What a trooper. They had a pinata at school. I furnished 3 of these, some made with my own bare hands. His class did theirs earlier but Gigio's class did theirs at the end of class and Enigma took them out early while I was working in order to not miss an appointment to get her hair cut so now Gigio is going to have PTSD about pinatas, just like Enigma ever since her 5th birthday. They will never recover until I make them their own personal pinata.

Carino and Gigio participated in a massive human singing flag program called "Hope of America." You have to click on that link to see it because it wasn't at my house, so obviously, my camera wasn't there. When 7000 school kids participate, do you know how many cars are all trying to be there at the same time? The traffic was so fun. Enigma and Papi were working so I got to sit through it with the Things. I could have lived without the late start and the too long pre show, but the show itself is pretty cool actually. If you're not in the company of two six year olds, that is.

The Things got a jungle gym circa their birthday, before the tramp incident. Their dad got it so that I wouldn't bother to throw a party he would miss and I would give him a guilt trip over. So the boys drag all the blankets out and cover it to turn it into some kind of igloo or something. On the upside, I think we missed the traditional basement flooding, even though the tramp burning wasn't much better. Maybe we should just call it the Annual Un-Natural Disaster and try to cancel it next year. Ever since the Things turned 6, every day Thing 2 reminds me that they are still six. It is going to be a v.e.r.y. l.o.n.g. year. The nice part of this is, at least he knows how old he is and he cares because any talk of turning 5 last year he just met with a blank stare. That growth makes me so happy, I will listen to him tell me every day that he is still 6. At school I learned the other day that he is a little confused that the paper they had with D words on it didn't have the exact same words that are on the d page on his computer. They had the nerve to leave out the dinosaur, among other things. That explained why when I asked him about the different pictures on his paper he said the picture of a door was a dinosaur. I disagreed and told him I thought it was a door. He said that there is a dinosaur when you open the door.

I bet you think I'm done, but there are more kids around here. We have next door neighbors again after a huge break. The new kids just jumped in and started playing with mine and sometimes they just get all mixed up in the shuffle around here. The Things started out hesitant but now enjoy playing with the 4 year old girl next door. She likes to cook with me and help me in the garden too. Enigma always says she's annoying. I finally asked what was so annoying about her and she said, she looks like "Dora the Explorer" and I hate that Dora! A girl after Burgh Baby's Mom's heart. I laughed. I'm just thrilled she's not like Barney. Now there's an
annoying children's show character. Speaking of children's shows, why doesn't Caillou have hair? As for other extended family members who are not cartoon characters, I'm so excited my sister's house finally got an offer and she has an offer accepted on a new house! I'm glad and slightly jealous that my parents got to visit a ton of relatives in Arizona but sad it was for my uncle's funeral. I know he was ready to go, but it doesn't make it any easier for everyone he left behind. I'm also hope hope hoping that our family fast will help my cousin's recovery from a car accident in a positive way and that soon he can get back into something more entertaining than recovering and rehabilitating.

That's all for now, stay tuned for an update on Utahns Anonymous, more scarred for life tales and the question on all your minds, or at least mine, will Shellie survive the Walk for Lupus this weekend or is she too out of shape? That and other burning questions will be found right here should I indeed survive.

Random Updates in April

Happy Valley alert!
I would never have thought it but the Beautiful Bodacious Babbling Blogging Babes is a cover up for a group of huffers. Just listen to what I overheard at their last gathering....
It started out just by letting the little LDS guard down a notch..."I need some coffee"
Then they moved on to more hard core stuff... "I want to sniff that!" " I'm getting a sniffer's high" These were all a bunch of married Mormon ladies with kids mind you..."I think I'm getting a headache." "Yeah, I think you're going to get a big hangover" Did I mention there were babies present? In front of babies! It gets worse! "Did you get naked yet?" I can't go on!
I have to tell the truth. It was an Urban Botanics party. There were a gob of oils and we got to make our own fragrances! It was the funnest thing. Honestly, I didn't think it was going to be that exciting, but who wouldn't ditch their kids for an hour to eat a buncha yummy potluck and socialize with some fun ladies? Then I suddenly felt like I was living the movie "Perfume", which by the way was very, very well done and sorta in the realismo magico genre, which I love. However, don't see it if you didn't yet, unless you can find one that got chopped up with scissors because it has scenes that are inappropriate for your eyes (and mine, but I'm brainless and need to learn to be more selective) plus it was just plain macabre. All that aside, the cool thing about it was how they portrayed the main character's sense of smell and quest to make the perfect perfume. That's the point. Soon I was on my quest to make the perfect scent, and I made a pretty good one considering I was a confused newbie with not the best sense of smell. I made a lotion out of it and the lotion is really great too! My hands and elbows and husband are loving it. And now I'm addicted, I want to make more scents. I will do it again someday. My first is called Summer Dawn because it reminds me of when I would get up on vacation and go out to my grandparent's trees and climb them to pick a grapefruit for breakfast. Another great friend there, Jeri made something with my scent too. I love the other scent she made, so we obviously share scentuous tastes. So, our hostess, Karlene has a site here if you want to check out all the different essences we had to choose from, and I think you can order Summer Dawn from her too! P.S., oh yes you can! Click on my link on the top of the sidebar that says Summer Dawn. I'm a famous fragrance designer! LOL!!!
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I'd like to thank Lijy for giving me this award, I think I'll copy it and hang it on the wall to try to brainwash my kids into thinking I'm powerful. :) Thanks!
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Snow and sunshine. The first one of those is getting old and the second isn't sticking around enough. But I have faith. I bought seeds. I won't find the old ones till August most likely.
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We've had lots of family things, get-togethers with my brother coming down for conference, a nephew/cousin's baptism, the family celebration of the birthdays, and a Family Home Evening with the grandparents which was really fun. At first my kids acted exactly like they do at home. It was so authentic. Enigma whined at Gigio and Carino for existing while one poked the other and the Things were bouncing around the room like a couple of bouncy balls, and we couldn't get everyone to settle down at once. But, eventually we got everyone's attention by pulling out the butter churn; an old butter churn that used to be my grandparents'. The Things were fascinated and soon all was calm. They learned all about how their grandpa grew up on a dairy farm and got to milk cows every day, and how they would separate the milk and the cream and and how both grandparents got to churn butter. Then we churned butter. It was cool. Don't try to make 6 cups worth at a time though, it is killer! Of course we ate ...ice cream after that, and butter on biscuits as well. The kids loved it. I'm kicking myself that I didn't bring my camera and take pictures. All these relics are pretty neat, and the Things didn't even bust the old paddles you use to put the butter in the press. We are still eating our butter.
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We forgot to register the van. In January. I got stopped on the way dropping kids off at school. In April. I had no idea... then I found the registration form tacked to the bulletin board at home. Just part of the decor... Now we're trying to get our engine light off so we can pass inspection and permanently register it.
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Chaos reigns supreme as usual. 3/5 of them are on spring break. Enigma has a crazy prom saga going on, which I hope will end happily. Hope, hope, hope! She also has high prolactin levels which means she has to get an MRI to check out her pituitary gland. Should be fun. I already roped Papi into going with her since he's had these already, that's my excuse. Hypochondria+drama=hide! I don't really want to be there when she has her firstborn either. Remind me of that, even though I'll go anyways.
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Thing 1 is being so cute!!! I just want to eat him up. One day when I tucked them in to bed, he said he wished I was almost 6 like him. I told him I already was. A loooong time ago. But he wishes I could be his age now. I asked if I were his age, who would drive him places and fix his food and help him, etc. He said I would. I explained that if I was almost 6 I wouldn't be able to do things like that and Thing 2 chimed in from the top bunk, "Just kidding, Mom!" I still think it's sweet he wants me to be his age, kinda like he wishes I was his twin. The things are going through a separation of identity stage, which is a nice way of saying they fight a lot. Thing 1 says he doesn't love Thing 2 because he likes Megatron. I love him, even if he has evil tendencies :). Both Things were a little confused about having the extended family celebrate their birthdays early. Are they 6 or not? Are they going to get the gifts I hid and they found already? They are having a blast with all the presents they got, by the way. Heaven for spring break. In a moment of insanity or laziness, I bought transformers cupcakes for them to take to the celebration. They all had a transformers ring on them, but the frosting was bright red and blue. Dumb. Dumb. Mom. I let them eat the leftovers any time of the day or night just to get the mess out of the way ASAP. If I ever took cameras anywhere, I'd have some great photos for you. Instead, my sister in law has them. So, back to the celebration, they each got a bag of gummy worms and as the grown ups were talking, Thing1 came in and shared a gummy worm with each of us. Then, last night when the kids wouldn't go to bed, I said they were so kind to stay up so late to help me clean the house. That got everyone to bed quick, but this morning Thing 1 got up and started mopping the floors, because he was supposed to help me clean last night. Is that sweet or what? I have no idea where this is coming from, but I'm loving it.

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This is in response to a post by Burgh Baby's Mom: I saw this recently while going on a court assignment. What the....? Had I only known, I wouldn't have bothered even having babies. I really need to keep a camera in the car. I went back just for you. Sweet dreams!

I've Got a Plunger and I Know How to Use It!

It started out like this:
Me (to kids): Go get ready for bed! (Then I go back to trying to really finish finding all my 2007 receipts).
Within a few minutes, teasing and running sounds ensue. Me: Boys, get ready for bed!! NOW!!
10 Minutes and two repetitions later (vocal exercise): The noise in the next room is deafening, and at this point, it sounds like someone might be murdered.
I jump up and stride into the living room, grabbing a plunger out of a Thing's hands. Apparently, a bomb detonated in there. Clothes, cushions , and miscellaneous wrappers are scattered among a field of toys and there are a bunch of bread pieces tossed all over the entrance to the kitchen. Another thing is screaming while Carino has got him in a neck hold and Gigio is bouncing from one couch to the other egging him on with a toy sword.
Me: Did I ask you to go mess up the living room, throw the bread around, pester or threaten your brother's life, then create a scene from "Tornado" out of the living room and drag out the plunger?
Boys: Deer in headlights blank stares...
Me: Well?
Boys: Ummmm.
Me: NO! I did NOT. I said get ready for bed, and if you don't right now, I have a plunger and I know how to use it! I lunge towards the pack and Gigio runs away, screaming like a girl. The Things run off to their room laughing, and Carino starts eating the bread.
Another night of our typical bedtime routine has just begun. Who said idle threats are useless?

Just One More Commercial

Karen tagged me with this meme.

(1) You must post the rules on your blog before you answer the questions.
(2) You need to list one fact about yourself using each letter of your middle name. If you don’t have a middle name use your maiden name instead.
(3) When you are finished with your answers, you tag one person for each letter of your name.

I have to tell a silly story first. I was watching Sweeney Todd with Enigma and her friend. Enigma says, "I don't like the name Joanna." "Me either," says her friend. I just look at them. "Wait, isn't your middle name Jo Ann?" Enigma asks. "Yes," I say. "And isn't that Grandma's name?" She continues. "Yes," I respond. Silence. "But Jo Ann is so much nicer than Joanna, right?" Gales of laughter.

Josephine was my mom' s paternal grandmother. That's where the Jo comes from.
Omniscient. At least I try to convince my kids I am. Maybe Omnivore is more honest.

Abigail Ann was my mom's maternal grandmother. That's where the Ann comes from.
Nutty.
Non-alcoholic. Could you imagine me on booze? Scary. I'd better stick to butter rum lifesavers.

OK, I tag: The Good Flea
Darla,
Gerb,
Cecily,
and Maria.
If you don't like your middle name I give you permission to make one up! You have to tell us it's fictitious is all. AND NOW, BACK TO OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED BLOG!

More Warm Fuzzies

So, as if the blog bling wasn't enough, I overheard this conversation between Thing 1 and Thing 2 last night.
Thing 2: Look, Thing 1, mommy give me toothbrush!
Thing 1: Wow!
Thing 2: Look, it sticks! (I can tell, because I just saw this a few minutes before, that he is sticking the little suction cup on the bottom of the handle onto the counter top and then knocking the toothbrush off again, sending it flying and narrowly missing the toilet.)
Thing 1: Ha Ha! That funny!
Thing 2: Yeah, he's the BEST mom in the WHOLE WORLD!
Thing 1: Yeah, he give me cwayon toofbwush!

If only someone had told me 16 years ago that's all it would take to be the best mom in the world, that would've taken a huge weight off my shoulders!