Tuesday, December 6, 2016

A Little Fashion Truth

A while ago, I was in the store and saw a thin, softy, cheapo, shawl like blanket thing and thought it would be perfect to drape over my frozen body in the many air conditioned places I have to spend too much time in, so I bought it.  Later, I noticed the tag said it is a blanket scarf.  Hmmmm...amidst the dizzying number of thoughts and activities going on over the course of the next few days, that label bubbled to the surface of my consciousness and I thought- wait a sec..this must be some new fashion thing! So I looked up how to wear a blanket scarf, and It IS a thing.  See here. Except, no matter how much origami you want to subject it to, it is definitely still a blanket in my mind. A shawl-like blanket maybe, but a blanket.  The only way I can conceive of this object being a scarf is if I were Madame Maxime.  Literally, I can hold the corners and spread it out nearly the length of my arm span, and if the bottom touches the floor, it comes up to my chin. The tips I got from the link show a supposed 20 ways to wear your scarf, but somehow, they seem to be 5 ways repeated with different pictures and wording. Tip number 2 says if you want to make it look less huge, fold it in a triangle and wrap the top ends around your neck and back front, which makes it look for all I can see like a tablecloth posing as a bib. Tip 3 says Own your huge scarf and wear it looped around your neck. Add glam accessories like a fur vest, heels and big sunglasses to look more dressed up. Yes, I would recommend that, because if you chose pajama pants, a t-shirt, and flats, everyone would assume you woke up late and rushed out the door as is, blanket still tangled around your neck in your haste to get to work on time.... OR you can "Wear your blanket scarf as a cape, then drape it over one shoulder to look (like you are wearing a) super chic (picnic blanket)". Tip 8, my favorite-Tie your scarf over one shoulder to give off an easygoing vibe...of a Scottish Hindu American with no fashion sense when it comes to saris.

Tip 13-If you have too much fabric left over after looping it around your neck like you would a normal sized scarf, just tie the ends like so- or, you could take a tip from my book and cut the sucker down to size to scale with your body. Let me just say that if you want to wear the blanket as a scarf,  be my guest, but personally I will think you are trying to keep your childhood blankie close at hand, should you need it's comfort at any given moment. Now, put that on pint- sized me, and I will look like I am about to be swallowed by a blanket. You can drape the blanket over your shoulders and belt it, thus trying to pass it off as a vest, as tips 5,6,7,11,and 20 all depict, but in my mind, you wrapped a blanket over your shoulders and belted it to keep it from slipping off.   OR whoop de doo! you can skip the belt and just let it hang loose in front, and if you wear a cool hat, no one will suspect you are wearing a blanket! If I'm going to be completely transparent , I must reveal my hypocrisy in this disdain for wearing blankets as scarves. For years I have been wearing blankets under the pseudonym of poncho, but somehow it was easier to believe as a coat substitute than as a fashion statement. I mean, I just assumed we all understood that ponchos were blankets with a slit or a hole added to accommodate our heads. Don't get me wrong, I am ALL. FOR. making it socially acceptable and chic to run around with a blanket as an accessory, I just think we should be honest about what we are doing and not call it a scarf.


Anna Harrison said...

HAHA. I appreciate this. I have a couple of these and one in particular is SO MASSIVE that I just couldn't ever wear it as a "scarf." And anyway, I also loved them simply because I feel the need to have an actual blanket with me wherever I go in the winter. Or even in the summer with all that air conditioning!

4boyzmdmom said...

I was reading this and laughing, but also thinking "But I thought Shellie would love it if wearing a blanket everywhere would become the fashion..." Then I got to the end of your post. I'm all for it! Let's just be honest and make the blanket (not the blanket scarf) a fashion accessory! I, for one, would be a fan.

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