Sunday, March 2, 2008

Exercise

I've been meaning to exercise. Really I have. I realized one day that the only exercise I was getting was the mad dash to stop a kid from threatening his life or someone else's. Not only is that not cardiovascular, but the emotion nearly stopped my heart every time. So, I decided I'd better exercise. Who knows? Maybe I could actually get a little muscle tone back into the twin- stretched tummy? Surviving always got in the way.
One day, I went in for my physical and the doctor said I was starting to creep up on my cholesterol. Not in the danger zone, but the top of the normal zone. I should exercise and eat better and come back in two months to see if it was better. So I started exercising. Eating better wasn't too hard, all I had to do was get in 3 meals a day, which I had been working on squeezing into the new school schedule we had just went on the month before.
I started to watch Fit TV. I did this when we got the channel, but I was so fascinated, I forgot to do the exercises myself. I started following along this time. It was apparent I hadn't done this in a while. I kept at it though, till the holidays intervened a month later. I meant to get back to it, really I did. It seemed silly to go back and get my cholesterol checked if I hadn't made any change, so I didn't follow up. I figured I'd get a handle on it somewhere before the next physical at two years instead of two months. That was a much more realistic goal.
So a year went by, no exercise. I started wearing sweats or yoga pants everywhere, just so I could squeeze in exercise any time. I would get dressed and really intend to exercise but something would always interrupt me and the next thing I knew, it was bedtime. I kept hoping I would spontaneously burst into exercise at any given moment, but it never happened. I decided I'm an athlete in total remission. Can't get sick again no matter how hard I try. But, seeing as how I need my heart to keep functioning correctly, I kept trying to catch the bug again. I got exercise stuff for Christmas. I would get the whole family exercising together. Then I got the 6 week flu.
So, I was thinking I'm running out of time here, I've got like 7 months to go till the physical. I told myself the next day I would exercise. I seem to have misplaced the Christmas gifts. No matter, just turn on the TV, and find something to follow along with. Except it was on TVN, just in time to hear the news about the small aircraft that crashed into the exercise group in the park, in Penalolen, killing a bunch of the diligent exercising ladies and seriously injuring others. Oh my gosh! How awful! How unfair. Exercise is dangerous! It is hazardous to your health! I haven't exercised in so long, it would probably provoke a similar sign from heaven. I might get struck by lightning. Now I think I'd better sit down and take some deep breaths and spend 5 months overcoming my anxiety. That should give me two months before the physical to get my rear in gear.

14 comments:

Karen said...

I kept hoping I would spontaneously burst into exercise at any given moment, but it never happened.

This nearly made me pee myself.

I joined the gym because I tried too long to burst into exercise and it just didn't happen. The gym membership was too expensive to NOT use so I'm there religiously.

Burgh Baby's Mom said...

I can't stop laughing at "spontaneously burst into exercise" either. I just keep picturing someone walking through a parking lot, tossing the groceries to the wind, and doing jumping jacks. Hysterical!

The Sports Mama said...

It's always been my personal belief that its no coincidence that Evil and Exercise begin with the same letter.

I'm just sayin'.

Lijy said...

I clean up my running shoes almost every week, so that i can go for jogging the next Monday.
from past 7-8 months, that Monday has never come.
wish u all the best........

Lijy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lijy said...

About the previous post, on writing tips, i really needed them. one of the reason for starting this blog is, my English is gone down the drain. i mean, i stay in the south of India, and the native language here is Tamil. so don't get to talk much of English here, other than to my hubby or old friends. more over since i am almost at home always, don't get the chance at all.

This is my condition, even tough just 2 years back i was working in an MNC, dealing with US clients.

i re-read my posts every time, even then my hubby finds tons of mistakes. i am trying to improve.
so if u have got any more tips please do share it.

caramama said...

Oh, it's so hard to get back into, isn't it? If only we could all just spontaneously burst into exercise! Like some sort of virus that spreads.

For me, I'm starting with yoga, as I have in the past. It's a gentle way to begin, and I just love it.

Good luck!

Pam said...

I'm so bad with exercising. I do it for a day or two and then nothing for months. This was hysterical. Great post!

mommeeof9 said...

I haven't consistently exercised since I got out of the army in december 1989. This may explain why I have 30 pounds left from #'s 7, 8 and 9?

I have the best intentions, just lack of motivation. Besides, that cheese cake looks so good, one little piece won't hurt, will it?

carrie & troy keiser said...

:D Oh how funny as I have been contemplating "catching the bug" since I got a "twin stretched tummy" and .... well,,, I can;t seem to "get sick" either! Is there hope for us?! :)

Sue said...

Ha ha ha - spontaneously burst into exercise - that slayed me.

Kellan said...

I have no will-power for serious exercise! I hate to be on a regiment and have just gotten to where I count all the chasing after kids and running up and down stairs, as MY exercise. I hope you get motivated - maybe it will inspire me! Take care and have a good day - Kellan

The Journey Begins Here said...

This was hilarious. I loved the part about wearing the exercise clothes. I started doing that too...but didn't exercise and just ended up wearing them to bed. Now if I wear them, my husband asks why I am in my jammies!

I thought you were going to say something like you watched fit t.v. from the couch eating nachos! Thanks for that funny post. Need some exercise? Stop by because you've been tagged. Theresa

Anonymous said...

You are hilarious! I bumped into your blog thru my sister Darla's. I don't have a blog myself, because ... well, I'll blame it on my busy household! I sit here and read other's blogs when I'm putting a sleepy child to sleep, and then it's hard to type - my excuses for not blogging. See - my 2 1/2 y.o. is protesting in his sleep because Mom's arms aren't just so ... !!