I've been meaning to exercise. Really I have. I realized one day that the only exercise I was getting was the mad dash to stop a kid from threatening his life or someone else's. Not only is that not cardiovascular, but the emotion nearly stopped my heart every time. So, I decided I'd better exercise. Who knows? Maybe I could actually get a little muscle tone back into the twin- stretched tummy? Surviving always got in the way.
One day, I went in for my physical and the doctor said I was starting to creep up on my cholesterol. Not in the danger zone, but the top of the normal zone. I should exercise and eat better and come back in two months to see if it was better. So I started exercising. Eating better wasn't too hard, all I had to do was get in 3 meals a day, which I had been working on squeezing into the new school schedule we had just went on the month before.
I started to watch Fit TV. I did this when we got the channel, but I was so fascinated, I forgot to do the exercises myself. I started following along this time. It was apparent I hadn't done this in a while. I kept at it though, till the holidays intervened a month later. I meant to get back to it, really I did. It seemed silly to go back and get my cholesterol checked if I hadn't made any change, so I didn't follow up. I figured I'd get a handle on it somewhere before the next physical at two years instead of two months. That was a much more realistic goal.
So a year went by, no exercise. I started wearing sweats or yoga pants everywhere, just so I could squeeze in exercise any time. I would get dressed and really intend to exercise but something would always interrupt me and the next thing I knew, it was bedtime. I kept hoping I would spontaneously burst into exercise at any given moment, but it never happened. I decided I'm an athlete in total remission. Can't get sick again no matter how hard I try. But, seeing as how I need my heart to keep functioning correctly, I kept trying to catch the bug again. I got exercise stuff for Christmas. I would get the whole family exercising together. Then I got the 6 week flu.
So, I was thinking I'm running out of time here, I've got like 7 months to go till the physical. I told myself the next day I would exercise. I seem to have misplaced the Christmas gifts. No matter, just turn on the TV, and find something to follow along with. Except it was on TVN, just in time to hear the news about the small aircraft that crashed into the exercise group in the park, in Penalolen, killing a bunch of the diligent exercising ladies and seriously injuring others. Oh my gosh! How awful! How unfair. Exercise is dangerous! It is hazardous to your health! I haven't exercised in so long, it would probably provoke a similar sign from heaven. I might get struck by lightning. Now I think I'd better sit down and take some deep breaths and spend 5 months overcoming my anxiety. That should give me two months before the physical to get my rear in gear.