BLAST FROM THE PAST- April 6, 2005

This is the sequel to my Family Heirlooms post.

I would have written sooner but...

I was a little incapacitated.

I spent a good part of one spring break day paying the price for mopping the floors. The big boys were downstairs, I’m mopping upstairs and when I get ready to go towards The Thing's room, they go running downstairs. I start cleaning up the floor so I can mop and about 5 minutes later I find the fingernail clippers case empty on the floor. I call down to ask Gigio what the babies are doing, thinking it is something with the clippers and he casually answers, "Oh, they’re in the office." The office is kept locked and off limits at all times. Bells go off, and I run to my doom. This is what I find:

The blue stuff on the keyboard is toothpaste. Ironically they used the family heirloom of a gutted knife I was keeping "safe" in there to remember the yogurt incident with to pry up the keys and then smeared the toothpaste all over. Where do they get these ideas from? How do they get and act on them so quickly? Like, " Quick, pry the latch open with the broom handle, get the toothpaste from the bathroom and the knife from the desk drawer: now let's get to work!" Why??? Maybe it was to distract me from the missing nail clippers.

Random Updates

We went to speech as usual. Then we went shopping. We got a bunch of used pants at Savers and went to Target looking for something, and then trying to extract D1 from the store without a transformer. They are back. Then we ate pizza and D1 had another meltdown over the drinks. C. kept asking me if he could have a skateboard, and when he could have one, and if this or that could he... I was calm. I am so proud of myself. I not only acted like a model parent, I actually felt like one inside too. I must be growing up. That, and there was only one kid misbehaving at a time, which usually helps tons. Maybe they are growing up.
We went to the dentist. Me and the four boys. It was delightful. D1 has E.'s mouth so his teeth coming in will not all fit in his mouth. He has a nice set of cavities in his back teeth since he can't stand toothpaste, except the watermelon kind he can slightly tolerate. D2 screamed over getting his teeth brushed. He has 1 cavity. Hooray. We are going to use the best and most expensive sedative for this one stupid hole in his mouth because just cleaning his teeth is nearly impossible. The rest cooperated but were their usual bouncy selves. G. was perfect, teeth coming in straight, no cavities, I just wish I could sedate him for these visits so he wouldn't get everyone else so wound up. C. had just 1 cavity. I spend the whole time trying to get them all not to touch the instruments. G. sprayed D1 with the water pic wand anyways. D1 Jumped on the end of the chair while the dentist was poking around D2's mouth. It went better than usual. The dentist always comments on how I really have my hands full. Yeah, so someday I wish they would just whisk us in and out the minute we get in there. E. didn't go to the dentist, she went to the doctor instead because she had the flu. Now she doesn't need the shot. Now I know that if I wait at the pharmacy for 40 minutes while they try to find my insurance coverage, (because it is so much harder to get the ID number off an explanation of benefits because E. lost the ID card at the Dr.'s), and then try to get the computer to let them bill the insurance, I will find out that Tamiflu costs $80 because the insurance doesn't think it is worth covering so all you get is a small discount from the pharmaceuticals. I didn't buy it. She got better anyways. But that stuff works great, I used it once before. Get your flu shots! It's going around early this year. It's cheaper than getting sick! I will probably get it before I can actually follow my own advice.
Now I am trying to decide what to do about my trip to Las Vegas next week. Do I actually prepare these people and make food and leave lists or do I just let everything run amok so they will miss me? Actually, they will probably be so glad there will be no rules for 2 1/2 days and when I come home I will have to pay by trying to pick up 3 days worth of mess. J. will be working the game at BYU so he will not be available much to help Saturday at all. Actually, whether I cook and freeze or leave lists, they will probably just ignore it all and eat junk the whole weekend. I probably should leave for a much longer time someday till they all decide they are better off with me. That might be expensive living somewhere else for a year, so maybe I will just give up on being noticed. One day they will grow up and leave and then they will understand.
I tried to tape my floor. You know, for my scientific study of the paranormal phenomenon of things growing out of my floor. But even though the camera was hidden, everyone seemed to walk out of range of the camera and stuff just grew in other spots instead. Really weird. Maybe it can't be caught on tape. Then D&D decided to make juice. I tried to help, but they got in a fight over what to stir with and the whole project got abandoned. Then D1 came back in later and tried to add more water at the sink but just ended up knocking the whole pitcher on the floor. It was amazing. It's incredible how much juice actually fits in a pitcher. It looks like more on the floor. Especially when it's super concentrated because before adding more water, we added more powder. Meanwhile, D2 has gotten a scoop full of powder to dip his fingers in and is spilling it all over the rest of the house as he tries to get away from me. Did I get any of this on tape? NO! It ran out right before the juice making started! So I have about 3 hours taped of a bench and a floor, with occasional shadows and movement on the side. How exciting! Not too different from our other home movies, which are a series of a kid doing nothing, blank look on his face, to the audio of me whining and begging, "Please do Buzz Lightyear again. C'mon, do it again! Be Buzz! Hey Buzz, there's Zord! C'mon, pleeeeese! Do Buzz again.." or "Smile for Mommie, c'mon, smile!" Etc. etc. I can't stand them. It's like the only time they hold still and I'm too busy holding a camera and begging to go enjoy it!
D&D's teacher came out to the hall to stop me the other day as I left. She wanted to tell me about something. For show and tell D1 brought a transformer. Surprise, surprise. He told everyone very earnestly, My mom bought it for me: She's cute! D1 also was playing with a ziplock bag full of water the other day, which he called "Mr. Waggly". Then Mr. Waggly sprung a leak. He went pee pee I was informed. Why do we even have toys?
One day early this week I unplugged all the T.V's and told everyone to get a life. My husband didn't divorce me. He just said, O.K. I'm thinking, why didn't I do that a long time ago. Then as soon as I went to go grocery shopping, they all plugged them back in. I used to think Rodney Dangerfield was so stupid, but now I get him. I don't get no respect around here.
Lastly, we all went to Cornbelly's Corn Maze at Thanksgiving Point. J. deserves a purple heart after walking around the maze with us, everyone running and yelling and doing their level best to get split up from us, all the while G. complaining that no one else will stop and listen to the clues for the treasure we are supposed to be finding. I tried once but D&D were talking (i.e. yelling in English) in my ear, so I gave up. The rest of the stuff was a blast; slides and hayrides, and a big bouncing pillow, and a spiderweb tower. You climb to the top then slide down through the webs and bounce on the tramp at the bottom. And there was much more... Oh the big inflated lizard. You walk in his mouth and get digested and come out the tail. It was mostly just too dark to see where you were going and scared D2's tummy. We stayed till it got too cold and dark.
Here's a few pics:



















After 7 or so more shots like this, (E. refused to be a pig), and discovering that the other 4 can't all be in place at once, we gave up.











































Are we having fun yet?? This is as good as it gets!

FALL HAS FALLEN

And so have I. This week I turn 44. I’m so proud of myself. Why do people hate telling their age? What’s so wrong with getting old? Besides the osteoporosis, loss of bladder control and arthritis, and heart disease and on and on. But the older you get the better you get, right? Like a fine wine I am getting better with age. Of course, I’ve never actually tried wine, and the way I see it, I’d rather drink grape juice, so maybe like a fine wine I’m just fermenting more and more. Yeah! I think that may be right, but I am older and wiser than I used to be. I think I like me better now than when I was 16. So by the time I’m 88 I should be a whole lot smarter than I am now. Or more fermented…I may well not have a mind anymore. I guess I might even be gone except according to an MSN questionnaire, the highest age I can expect to live is 100 or older. And I even told the truth about never exercising and eating only so-so. It didn’t exactly inspire me to improve my bad habits. I took another test that said if I were a famous leader, I would be Mother Teresa and if I were a movie I would be Schindler’s List. Did you know that my daughter E. is a combination of the character that’s a hairdresser that Dolly Parton plays in Steel Magnolias and CeCe Bloom played by Bette Midler in Beaches. I wonder what character is like me? What do you think? And while we’re psychoanalyzing me, if you are one of the people that knew me before I was 7, would you say I had ADD? Otherwise, I’m the first case of adult onset. It could be by association. In any case, I don’t care how old I get to be, as long as I can keep on learning new things and growing. This week I learned that you can actually burn something in the crock pot. That’s also a big bummer after waiting that long for it to cook. No wonder my kids sneak food to their rooms. I also learned what yellow tastes like. What the heck? I thought it was called corn, not yellow, but I bet it’s a whole lot more honest. There’s probably more yellow dye than corn in this stuff. I learned kids are very astute. D1 said, “You’s crazy mom” and I go to pick him up from the sitter and he says, “What’s wrong with you?” Nice greeting. At least he acknowledges my existence now. I told him, “I don’t know, we’ve all been trying to figure that out for a long time.” I learned that if your kids want stuffed jalapeno peppers and then decide they don’t, it is not a good idea to eat the whole plate full to save their lives, even if it tastes good.

The kids have been busy. The school still needed some more work so they were home Monday and Tuesday. Now we are finally in the new building! It looks great. Hopefully next week there will be indoor plumbing too. At least now they can say, “When I was a kid, I had to go outside to use a port a potty at school.” I would trudge through a blizzard and camp out to have this school; it is so worth it. Now real life starts though. School every week day, Saxon math every week night. Goodbye freedom! Good bye summer!
Speaking of which it has been so cold! I actually love fall except that I’m always mourning the loss of summer and dreading winter, but now that I’m so old and busy I know that before I know it, spring will be here again. So the war of the central air vs. Shellie begins. It has a mind of it’s own. If you put it on heat, it’s base temperature it reverts back to any chance it gets is 62. If you put it on cool, it switches to 95. It takes a while to train it to stay were I want it. This summer it was like already August and I was sitting down and all of a sudden I am sweating and hot and thinking, Oh, my gosh! I’m having my first hot flash. Then I checked the thermostat and it was only like 92 degrees in here. So, I still haven’t had a hot flash. I can wait. Of course, this winter I might wish for one.
So back to the kids, can someone explain to me why if they are gone all day they feel the need to cram in as much or more mess into what precious little time they have at home? I had to talk to my husband’s aunt in Chile, so I’m on the phone and the kids attack. C. has a big bag of chocolate chips in his hand and is making pleading doggy eyes. So I signal with my hands to take a teeny bit and move away. I get off the phone, and C. comes in to ask me something, chocolate moustache and beard all over his face, and a big blotch of chocolate on his leg. This means there is an identical one, probably on a bed. I go off to see and in the hall I see a curly lock of hair on the floor. It is not attached to a head. I call out, rhetorically, “Whose hair is this?” Duh, only G. has curls. He’s hiding in the corner of the bathroom, hands behind his back with the s-c-i-s-s-o-r-s in them. I know this because I am psychic and I have x ray vision. So, he’s not a natural barber. So I had to give him a buzz. J. didn’t think it looked too good. So he gave him a shave. He looks like he’s recovering from chemo now. Hopefully he’ll give up and have curly hair. Then E. comes in yelling don’t cut the legs off the grasshopper! Followed by D1, “Yeah, I told you, don’t cut the hot-doctor’s leg!” SO, it’s ok to cut their wings, but not their legs. I’m glad to know we draw the line somewhere.
Another day I go shopping. Apparently, D&D were making bubbles. The dish soap is almost gone. So was the milk, but luckily I was buying more. They tried mixing the two, then I guess it didn’t make too good of bubbles, so they served it to G. in a glass. He didn’t like it, so they decided to throw it down the stairs and see if it bubbled up. Some people don’t have the sense to wait till October to put up their Halloween decorations, so the boys decided to get out all the Halloween stuff. I got to put it all away. This weekend J. had so much fun being sick again with the dizzy stuff. He is falling apart. He showed me this neat video clip though. This guy named Paul Potts went on a show in England like our America’s Got Talent and sang. Opera. No training, he’s just always liked it. Everything feels right when he’s singing he says. What does he do for a living? Works in a car phone warehouse. Not anymore. He had real confidence problems and almost didn’t try out. He said when he was a kid, the others at school bullied him and made fun of him. He thought he was insignificant. Now he doesn’t. I loved this story because how often do we do this? We brush people off as unimportant or weird or whatever, and every one of us is an opera star so to speak on the inside. We all have something beautiful and divine in us. We really ought to remember that and believe that and treat each other like that more often. And he won the competition!

USELESS FURNITURE

O.K., So I was going to let G. market his new and improved bunk bed design, then I read an article on sleep. I already forgot where, but I always listen to or read anything at all I can find on the subject of sleep, for nostalgia’s sake in part and in part I am hoping to find an answer to life’s biggest question, “How do I get my kids to sleep?” ? My first started out life going 6 hours binges without sleep. Just in case you haven’t had any kids, this is not actually normal. It’s all gone downhill from there. So in this article some authority actually said you should never let your kids do anything in bed but sleep in it. Don’t read, study, eat, watch T.V., play, whatever in it. This way they won’t get confused what it is for. I guess that might put a cramp on slingshot beds; and beds with forts built into them, and bunk beds with slides built onto them. But do you know what? I might as well build a bed that does that and so much more, because even without all those things, my kids have always used their beds for anything but sleeping in. They use the mattress off the top bunk to make a slide to go down. They build forts with blanket walls, they make spider webs with dental floss all over them. They jump on them. That’s why I finally decided to get a tramp. I figured it was safer to do back flips on than a bed. They EAT in them, against my will. They store everything including rotisserie chicken under their pillows in hopes of hiding them from me. I really do feed them! I don’t know why they need to do this. Anyhow, come bed time, they are all allergic to their beds. THEIR beds, not mine. Not even couches, or your brother’s bed if he’s in it, but your own bed is SCARY. What I’ve wanted to do for years is just put a bunch of hooks in the walls all over the house and give each one a hammock. They can hang it wherever they want as long as they take it down in the morning. Only problem with this is, what will they do with the hammocks? And the hooks? I don’t want to go there.
So, the other problem we have is the kitchen table. It seems to be a display item in a furniture store. I have to just about tie them down to get them to eat at it, and no one can seem to remain seated long enough to actually finish a meal. Getting all 7 of us to sit down at the same time is like orchestrating a school carnival. By the time I accomplish that, I’ve usually lost my appetite and I need to go take a nap to recover my strength. Now everyone knows how important it is for the family to eat together, and if we don’t families are going to disintegrate, right? So I live with a lot of guilt. I just keep trying though, but I was thinking maybe if I put the beds in the kitchen…

Si Vas Para Chile...

We went to a 18 de Septiembre party Saturday. It was fun to visit with a lot of people we haven't seen in a long time, but as usual, the food ran out before we could get to it. So we had huesillo con huesillo. It was an improvement. We already had empanadas coming out of our heads before we got there anyways. My mother-in-law was so anxious to go home, she didn't want to talk long when we called, the next day she wanted money to take a taxi. But at least we could hear her clearly :) Here's what they were eating: MMMM!


















Speaking of Chileans, amongst them we often discuss whether Chilean moms baby their boys too much. Girls for that matter, but mostly the boys. They really are professional at waiting on you hand and foot and serving you food, etc like you were a VIP at a fancy restaurant. I can't seem to get the hang of that, I usually get lost on the way to the fridge to get J. a popsicle. Or I'll tell my kids to do something themselves. When I actually have real guests, I plan to wait on them and prepare a dessert, which I forget either until they're leaving or gone. Then I feel so stupid. But back to waiting on your offspring hand and foot, sometimes I wonder if in my quest to teach them independence I go overboard. Like when D1 told me once, "Do it yourself," when I asked him to do something.Then the other day E. says, "Mom, will you scratch my nose?" My hands weren't exactly empty at the moment, but I asked her why and she said because she couldn't get it to stop itching. I asked her where? and she says, "In here." And points up her nostril. What??? I am not even going to worry about not babying her enough anymore.

OTHER THINGS HEARD AROUND HOME: D1 has a loose tooth! He woke up one day and told me his tooth was wiggly. So occasionally I ask him how his tooth is doing and he says, "busy". E. How do you spell corner? M. Corner or coroner? E. Corner, like in The hooker stood on the street corner. G. What's a hooker? Great example, E. As we get to church late, and I am instructing everyone to just walk quickly and quietly, D2 bursts off running and yells, "Quick, we've got no time to lose!" And then there's the "My shoe wants free from my foot."

And last but not least, PARA MI TIO BRUTO, the next 3 clips are from the beach in Vina del Mar.

Where was I?

SUPPER SWAPPING 2 YR. OLD STYLE
And yes, to them, margarine is a meal!
A friend asked me when I showed her this, " What were you doing?"
As if I were watching a soap and eating bon-bons, or talking on the phone, or having an affair, or brain dead at the time. Actually I never do any of those things except sometimes I try to answer the phone. It doesn't usually get very far. The top 5 answers to that question are:

1. Moving the wash.

2. Eliminating wastes.

3. Helping another child

4. Cooking

5. Showering.

I'm not sure how to avoid any of those activities. Actually, if you have to ask this question, and you are actually a parent already, congratulate yourself on getting off that easy. This is what the rest of us deal with. On this particular occasion, I was helping another son with his homework. I heard the boys running and laughing, and thought they finally were just having fun together chasing each other. Then their older brother decided it wasn't funny to have butter thrown on HIM and asked me to intervene. I'm older and wiser now too. Silence isn't the only danger. TIP: if you're having a butter fight, wear your older brother's new shoes for traction.
AND TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES CONTINUE:
The kids got a virus on their computer that ate the hard drive files. Probably because they never let it update the virus protection or run the scan... Any how unfortunately all of E.'s photos for her class as well as who know how long of her life on film and all her music and videos were destroyed. She is devastated. (UPDATE: Now she is not devastated since she was invited to homecoming. Being 16 is so much fun.) She never saved anything at all. I can't believe it and I feel so bad, but there is nothing I can do; the school of hard knocks rules. J.'s cell phone is on the fritz too. Will it ever end? Don't answer that.
IN MEMORY OF SKEETER: WHAT A SPORT! THIS IS A BETTER PICTURE THAN THE ONE WITH THE TOILET BRUSH TAIL CUT!

HIDDEN PICTURE: CAN YOU FIND THE REAL ESPINOZA CHILDREN HIDDEN IN THIS PICTURE?
NEW DESIGNER CLOTHING: THE PONCHO SHORT

How Did He Know?

I just got this reminder a while ago from my dentist. The guy's got ESP, I swear. We have a lot of garlic. And brushing isn't enough to get rid of it. Especially not with my toothbrush. Wait a minute, duh! He's worked on my mouth before. He knows! I am so slow. It's just sleep deprivation though. That's what I love about going to the dentist, you can take a nap. So your mouth has to be stretched as far as it will go and beyond, but if you've got sleep deprivation, that's not going to matter so much. It will be way easier than trying to sleep with your kids around, and a whole lot safer.
SO, I got a new toothbrush. Why? Because someone sabotaged mine. Toothbrushes are playthings at my house too. They are often found plugging up the drain hole to the bathroom sink. So considerate of D&D to not let the water drain into the cabinet below the sink* but onto the floor instead when they fill it up after they plug the sink itself up with t.p. or soap or anything else handy, because we don't have a regular plug, because they figured out how to remove not only the plug, but the whole entire mechanism that raises and lowers the plug. That was at least a year or two ago, but it's still not fixed. Just like I don't have a closet door (See picture of G. below) since J. used it on someone else's closet when he was fixing things up for them and that was at least 8 years ago. ANYHOW, back to the toothbrush. I go to brush my teeth, so unsuspectingly, and it tastes like Bertie Bott's vomit flavored beans. Plus, it was scratchy. Turns out that someone was trying to cut the head off the brush, but didn't do much more than scratch up the surface enough to make very rough sandpaper out of it. I don't even want to know what was on the toothbrush. It took everything in me not to barf for the next 15 minutes or so.
I really need to make that dentist appointment soon. At least he didn't dis me. At least not yet. How many people get dissed by their dentist? I'm too big a challenge, I guess. I tried to make an appointment for about a year before I gave up and changed to a new one. Then J. starts getting mail from the old dentist inviting HIM to make an appointment. I feel so loved.
And in case you were waiting with bated breath, YES, G. broke his tail bone on that slippery bathroom tile. Luckily it's just cracked, so it's supposed to heal on it's own.

*(I know it wouldn't, but this is their reasoning)

THE OMEN

I just found this old picture of Gigio. Compare to this:

For All You Who Didn't Believe It

This is the video of Danilo undoing the electrical socket panels, age 2.

A typical Christmas, chez nous

27 Dec., 2004

Sleep in Heavenly Peace?

Never! But we have had a lot of fun! Kids are fun to watch at the holidays, they get so excited they're hyper. Then it's fun to watch them with their presents. How we love all the Christmas Carols, too:

"DECK THE HALLS WITH BALLS OF FLOUR!..." J. paid to have someone clean our couches the 23^rd. Then he stain guarded them when he got home from work. Luckily I heard a noise the 24th right before I got in the shower and found the twins throwing flour around and they had gotten one flour handprint on a cushion already. I shudder to think what might have happened if I'd taken my shower first.

"O HOLY COW! HOW BRIGHTLY YOU ARE SHINING!"

"OH CRISTMAS TREE, OH CHRISTMAS TREE, YOU'RE HAVING A BAD HAIR DAY!" ….

Maybe because: "YOU ARE MEAN ONES, LITTLE GRINCHES, you've got mischief in your smiles! Why do you drag the tree all over, testing it in each electric socket in the house??"... (We will not be putting on ornaments next year either unless I can grow enough hot chile peppers in my garden this year to make a big garland.)

"YOU"D BETTER WATCH OUT, YOU"D BETTER NOT CRY, (you'd better not pour juice on the tree, put eggnog in the couch, throw the big bag of popcorn the neighbors gave us all over the living room, call 911 at your friend's house because he's not sharing, dump out mommy's dresser drawers and then climb them to the scissors and try to chop off your hair, break mommy's glasses and wear her pearl necklace, all in one day especially if that day is the 20th of December,) I'm telling you why, SANTA CLAUSE IS COMING TO TOWN!"

And "POPCORN BURNING IN A MICROWAVE, chalkboard spray paint up your nose*, yule log clonks being swung by a toddler, and folks dressed up in mom's kimono"…*(I made the babies a chalkboard for Christmas, it was ugly outside so I had to do it inside and inhaled a lot. A friend said I could put a piece of chalk up my nose and draw a picture.)

"OH THE WEATHER OUTSIDE IS FRIGHTFUL (for Mom), and snow at 10 pm's so delightful (for a kid) and since we've no place to go, we'll go outside and play in the snow." Then drink hot chocolate, and go to bed late but rosy cheeked! That was fun.

Did you know that Jesus got gold, and a “'fume”(perfume) called freakin' scents and myrrh? Just ask G. for more details.

The 24th we had a HUGE dinner with way too much food, J. made a steak, potato and mushroom sauce dish, rice, a shrimp salad, ham, a tomato salad, chips and vegetables and salsa, and lemon pie and torta de hoja for dessert. We had over a class mate of J's family and C. and J. We still had tons of leftovers. The kids loved their presents. Much playing has gone on since then, and some squabbling. C. has had a hard time not breaking things for some reason but seems to be pulling out of the destructive mode. The 25th we visited Mom and Dad and had a nice dinner and we had a lot of fun with all the family that night. Yesterday we went to church and just rested. Today and tomorrow I'm working some. Here are a few more pictures of some works of art:

TELEKINETIC EXERCISES?!

DISCLAIMER: No bodily fluids were used in the making of this work- D.1

FAMILY HEIRLOOMS

EXHIBIT A : PROOF THAT GUARDIAN ANGELS REALLY DO EXIST

We still own this knife, mutilated in September 2003, to hand down to our posterity. It commemorates son Gigio's first day of Kindergarten. For those who didn't get my e-mails back then, it went something like this...

We came home from school to find Enigma with the babies covered in joint compound; Papi had just fixed a hole in the wall in my room before he left and while Enigma was trying to get the kids next door to quit ringing our doorbell, the babies attacked it. So I set out to clean up the babies, then everywhere they had slimed, then their clothes and lastly to try to fix the hole again. I didn’t do as good a job as Papi, but while everyone attacked me again I did my best and all that only took about 2 hours. After initially displacing his aggression on everyone in the house over his first day of school and threatening to pack up and leave us, Gigio settled down. Then while I fed the babies, Carino the gypsy flew the coop again. A kind neighbor called us and then came behind him with his trike which he had left behind. Finally I got the babies to sleep and got to work on dinner after several interruptions from the remaining 3 kids, so by the time the babies woke and started wailing I was almost done. Then finally they left the kitchen and quieted. I was wondering what had captivated their interest when Thing 1 showed up in the kitchen “talking” and gesturing towards my room, obviously accusing his brother, whom I found eating the patch job off the wall; Enigma left the door open to my room again. SO we cleaned up and got to the table, and after making sure there was nothing toxic in the drywall, I got them to eat real food while I got more practice at patching walls. Then after dinner the boys went downstairs to “play” while I supervised my eldest in her reading, and after 15 minutes of that agony, Carino shows up with a spikey hairdo that smelled fruity, something like some go-gurt we had on hand. Soon after Gigio followed and confirmed that it was indeed yogurt, so after getting both Gigio and Enigma to read, I gave Carino and the babies ANOTHER bath. Then when I sent Carino down to bed, he says he can’t, there’s yogurt on his bed. Silly me, why did I think it was all on his head?? Wishful thinking?? Then I saw the room, which looked like someone had blown up a balloon filled with yogurt in there, it was splashed all over everything. Then as my alter ego, the witchy mom took over and bawled them out, the angel on my shoulder reminded me I didn’t want to really strangle them; should I break down and cry? No, that’s what Gigio wants, to get me back for being so mean, at least that’s his excuse for his messes lately. As I’m yelling and contemplating what to do about this, I notice the night light, with not only yogurt but a black charred looking area around it. Next Enigma came to see what the hullaballoo was all about, all the while secretly hoping I would switch over to the dark side and eliminate her brothers. I start telling her that they must have gotten yogurt between the outlet and the light, and from the looks of things set off a flame, which Gigio refuted, saying they were just sparks at which point I decide to start lecturing on the properties of electricity. That's when Thing 2 walks up with Exhibit A in his hand. All I can say is I thank the Lord above that I still have a house and live children. For some strange reason, the boys had gotten the idea to stick the knife between the socket and the night light. Maybe to clean up the yogurt? I start telling them they could have been electrocuted. Gigio says, "No, Mom, it didn't, it just went, BZZZZZZ! (shaking hand motion with this)" So there you have it. I believe it is impossible to really hurt yourself with 110 volts. Good thing we're in the USA! The boys got grounded from the basement for 2 days and had to sleep with blankets on the hard floor upstairs. They also got grounded from yogurt until they are old enough to buy it themselves.

P.S. the sequel is here now...